The Secret Five #Wattys2016

Day 18-Anya

It's been almost three weeks since we first arrived and everything is going better than when we first got here, but, I know that won't last long. I see that Cason and Locklyn have been fighting, I see that Hadley is having panic attacks more than usual, and I see that Trace won't leave the chair by the pond. As for I, I am just trying my best to keep it together and be there for everyone else.

It's hard sometimes. Since Armin died, I have felt very empty and need something to fill this gapping hole in my core, and I may never get that filled. I don't and probably never will have a boyfriend, I'm too shy, and I will be the worst girlfriend ever because if the guy isn't like Armin, I won't be happy.

It was a perfect day to go swimming in the pond and lay out in the sun. It has been raining on and off the past two days and finally a day of sunshine. I put on my bathing suit and went into the bathroom to get a towel. Hadley was sitting on the toilet crying into her hands.

"Hadley?" she nodded and kept on crying. "What's wrong?"

"I need to leave," she was mumbling. "Locklyn and Cason are inseparable, you are not connected to reality, and Trace is just sitting in the spot not doing anything but stare at the water. I want to go home and be with my family. This shouldn't have happened and now look at it, we are all falling apart."

"Hadley, we aren't falling apart. We are going to stick together and get through this, as a family. We will make the best out of this situation and live in the moment, just like what Cason said on the first day, live in the present, forget the past, and create your future. Come on, go get your bathing suit on and we are swimming all day and relaxing, no chores, no running around for food, just a day of relaxation and enjoying the fresh air." She nodded and ran to her room.

I waited for Hadley at the bottom of the stairs. She was covering herself with a robe and trembling. It's not that cold in here or even outside. She slowly dragged her feet outside to the pond and when I arrived Trace was trying to comfort Hadley and she just kept nodding and crying. Locklyn and Cason were asleep in the hammock with a light blanket over them. They may not be sleeping either, none of us are sleeping.

I sat in a chair and began to read one of the books that were in the living room. It was a medical journal and the only reason why I am reading it to just refresh my mind on certain things like the flu, food poisoning, snake bite, and then natural disaster stuff. After an hour, Locklyn woke up and tried not to wake Cason by getting out of the hammock.

"Any food?" she asked. She had on shorts and a tank top. I would love to be as confident as she is, just loving her body and wanting to walk around with barely no clothes on. Locklyn was never like this until she began dating Cason.

"You can make lunch if you want. I'm not cooking today."

"Never mind then." She snapped and went into the cabin. I kept hearing banging and then a scream came from the cabin. I stood up and ran into the kitchen. Locklyn wasn't around and the kitchen was a mess and it's only been a matter of two minutes she has been in the cabin.

"Locklyn!" I yelled. "Locklyn!" I yelled louder. I heard a bang upstairs and went to the stairs and saw the bathroom door cracked open. "Locklyn, you okay in there?" I slowly pushed on the door and saw a wine bottle broken and some droplets of blood. "Locklyn, what did you do?"

She was sitting in the corner near the bathtub. Her hand was dripping with blood and I went over with a towel and covered and held pressure on it. She was crying and shaking her head. "Please, please, I'm sorry. Don't tell Cason, please," she begged while crying harder.