The Secret Five #Wattys2016

Day 238-Anya

         Locklyn keeps having false contractions and I truly think she will give birth this week. She is huge and very uncomfortable and hates sitting in the recliner now. Since she has to pee every five minutes, she has been staying in her room upstairs because it's closest to the bathroom. She says walking up the stairs makes her tired and out of breath.

It's Sunday and Cason is helping Locklyn. He hasn't hunted in a couple days because the rain made everything muddy and the animals wouldn't be out also. I decided to clean my room because I didn't care about how it look. We aren't back home where our parents can yell at us if our rooms were messy. I just threw everything on the ground and now I see why parents yell at their children to clean their rooms, it can get gross and nasty.

I put all of the dirty clothes in a pile by the door and sorted through the cleans clothes. Whenever I'm anxious about something, I always tried on different outfits and threw the clothes on the ground after I was done. That is what I did the past two days. I miss wearing dresses and skirts and our school uniforms also.

The school uniforms may have been annoying, but it made me feel powerful inside, and I don't know why it did. The uniforms were the school colors which were gray, maroon, and ivory. Girls had to wear either a gray skirt or plaid skirt of the school's colors, ivory button down shirt, either a maroon cardigan that buttoned with two ivory stripes on the left sleeve and the school seal on the left side of the chest, a black cardigan with the school's seal, or a maroon blazer with a gray, ivory, and maroon tie, and then knee high socks that were either black, gray, ivory, or maroon, with heels or flats. boys had to wear either gray, black, or khaki dress pants, a white button down collared shirt, black socks, a gray, ivory, and maroon tie, and either a black sweater vest with the school's seal, a maroon blazer with the school's seal, a maroon cardigan, or wear the vest and blazer together, with black dress shoes.

Our school was strict with the dress code. They would not let anyone get away with wearing an off-white shirt or red socks. It's a good thing they provided the uniforms because finding an ivory shirt would have been hard.

Walking through the halls at school as a group, we felt like we were on top. Everyone moved out of the way for us, they watched as we walked by, and they always wanted to be one of us. Even at parties, we were the show-stoppers as many have told us. We would make the party better by either Locklyn getting so drunk she would start dancing and singing or Armin and Trace always winning at beer pong, or Hadley who was the master at taking shots. Cason and I never really did the shots and only once in awhile he would play beer pong. He mostly tried to calm Locklyn down after she started to sing. I was the good girl, but I didn't think so at times.

I heard my bedroom door open and turned around quickly to see Trace. He closed the door, came over to me, and kissed me on the cheek.

"What are you doing?" he asked me.

"Cleaning because I let my room get messy. What about you?" he shrugged and went to the window. He seemed upset and paranoid about something. "Are you having flashbacks?" I asked while hugged him from behind.

"Yeah and I didn't want to be alone. They scare me and I'm nervous that I may snap like before. I don't want that to happen. The only person I can go to is you I feel like because Cason is busy with Locklyn and Hadley has her own issues. You're my girlfriend and I feel safe with you around."

"I'm always here for you, Trace. I love you and won't leave." I turned him around and kissed him on the lips. He put his hands at my waist and pulled me closer to his body. He put his hands under my shirt and I knew what he wanted to do. I'm not going to fight it.