The Secret Five #Wattys2016

Day 154-Locklyn

After Cason's panic attack, he has been quiet. I think the fast heart rate and chest tightening scared him more than what he was actually thinking. Who knows what he was thinking, he won't talk about it. He hasn't had another one since, but it's only been two weeks, and we can't predict the future.

I sat at the counter in the kitchen helping Anya cut up vegetables for dinner. She was making a tuna casserole with the stuff we have from the basement. It actually sounds really good. I'm hungry all the time because of the babies, so, anything sounds good to me.

Trace was fishing outside since the ice over the pond is gone completely and the weather is nicer. Weird how it is warm in the middle of winter.

"I'm done with the peppers, Anya," I said to her while leaning back in my chair. "What else do you want me to do?"

"Nothing else really." She took the peppers and washed them again and put them in the glass dish. She put the dish into the oven and set the timer. "Do you want anything?"

"Some lemonade if it's made. Do you mind?" she shook her head and gave me a glass with a straw. "Thanks Anya."

"Welcome." I put my hand on the left side of my stomach. I was huge and look rounder than before. Before my right side was sticking out and now my left matched, so I think there is a baby in both of my uteruses. "Are they kicking?" I nodded and waved for her to come over. I pointed to the spot and she touched my stomach and smiled widely. "Oh my God, I feel them moving inside of you. This is so cool."

"It hurts. Everyone is moving inside me right now." She laughed and cleaned up the mess I made. "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom." I got out of the chair slowly and went upstairs to the bathroom.

I stared at my stomach in the full length mirror. I lifted my shirt and turned to see how big I was. My stomach was shiny and free of stretch marks. There was a dark line going down the middle and my belly button was about to stick out. My back was curving inwards because my stomach is so big, gravity is pulling everything forward.

I smiled widely and stared down at it. I can't wait to meet my babies. I don't care if it's two boys, two girls, or one of each because no matter what I will love them unconditionally.

I went back downstairs and into the living room. The giant box that came is sitting across the room, no one wanting to go near it, especially me. I sat down in the recliner and turned on the television. I had the TV on for mostly noise because lately I need to hear someone's voice at all times.

Anya and Hadley made me a little desk by the recliner and got together paper and pencils so I can draw. I'm really good at sketching and painting, mostly using oil paints and sometimes ink. I like to do still life like landscapes or animals and then I like to do emotion paintings. Emotion paintings are the best because you can draw or paint anything and no one can judge because it shows what is actually happening. An example of an emotion painting is The Scream by Edvard Munch.

Last year, I did a painting that I did not intend to show anyone. one day, I was home and my mother was talking about Rydal and how perfect she is, so, the first thing I drew was a girl in the background, just her face and torso, and then from there I drew out a shadow of herself but as a skeleton and sad looking. After that I decided I wanted to incorporate an animal, mostly a raven, for it is a dark bird and I was going through a dark time at the moment. I drew it so the raven was flying out of the head of the skeleton and into the sky, meaning it is trying to escape the trap it has been caught in.