The Secret Five #Wattys2016

Day 48-Trace

This is terrible. Every day is the same thing, wake up, have breakfast, go hunting or fishing, skip lunch and continue to clean things, then relax in the pond, eat dinner, and go to bed, all with the same people. I don't mind living with my best friends, it's just I miss my own bed, I miss my father, even though we never got along, and I miss my grandmother, who made sure I was fed and well taken care of.

Today is October 13th and on this date six years ago my mother died. I remember she brought me to school and went back home to clean up from breakfast. She worked from home as an interior and exterior designer for houses. She was a very well-known designer in New York and decorated many houses. That morning she wasn't herself, she was very tired and pale looking, she was cold and October can be very cold in New York, but it wasn't that cold to be wearing a jacket.

At the end of the day, she wasn't outside in the parking lot for me and I didn't have a cell phone back then. Locklyn's father came over to where I was standing and said that I am supposed to go over to their house and stay there until my father called.

Being twelve years old, thinking the world was the best place to live, and everything was bright like rainbows and the sun shined every second of every day, I was oblivious to the idea my mother was very sick. I never thought people died, I just thought they fell asleep for long periods of time, sort of like Sleeping Beauty and how she slept for years, almost decades.

I stayed at Locklyn's house till after dinner and that was when my father showed up, his eyes red and puffy, he wasn't in his detective uniform but in jeans and a sweatshirt, and he wanted to talk with Locklyn's parents and not directly to me just yet.

Locklyn's parents came back and took Locklyn upstairs with them. My father sat down on the loveseat and called me over. I sat next to him and waited for him to say something.

"Trace, you know that Mom and Dad love you and will always be there for you." I nodded and smiled. "Even if Mom and Dad aren't here physically, remember we are here and watching over you with our hearts."

"Dad, what's wrong? Why are you saying this to me?"

"Trace, buddy, something happened to your mother."

"What happened? Where is she?" I kept asking those same questions. "Dad, where's Mom?!" I yelled. "Where is she?"

"Mom died. I came home from work early because she called me to say she was throwing up and not feeling well and when I got home, she was asleep in our bed. I went over to her and noticed she wasn't breathing and cold. I dialed 911 and they said it was too late. She's dead."

"But...but..."

"Trace, I'm sorry, but it is just you and I now and if you need anything, I am here for you."

"No!" I yelled and stood up. "You were never here for me, Mom was here for me more than you ever were and will be! She took me to school, she put me to bed, she made me food and where were you when she did all of this for me? You were working because your job is more important than your own family. Maybe, just maybe, if you were around more, she wouldn't be dead. She always said she hated how you worked twenty-four seven!" I yelled and ran out the front door.

"Trace David Beemer!" he yelled after me and caught up. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry to me. You should say sorry to your dead wife now. You made her get this sick anyway."

And that was the first time in my life I disrespected my father. Since that moment we have been butting heads and never agreeing on anything. I miss him though, even if he was distant with me for years, I still miss him, he is my father and the only parent I have left. To be honest, I regret saying that to him.