Shatter ✔ #TheWattys2017

5. Heart❤

Chapter Soundtrack:
Birdy - Not About Angels

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Nova

My eyes closed as a sudden breeze enveloped my body, serenity all around me in the calms of nature.

I pictured his face in my mind, the perfection of every detail, every angle. He was someone I've always felt drawn to, even as pups.

The agonizing conversation Zaryn and I had moments ago left me reeling, questions in my mind flowing rampantly. Feeling so helpless when it came to my own destiny was more than I could bear. With that in mind, I decided it was time for my second shift ever.  

My wolf was pacing in the back of my mind, wanting to release her aggression. Seeing Grace and hearing the foul words spout from her lips didn't sit well with my wolf. All she could think about was chasing after the pregnant she-wolf and taking something away from her, just like she did to us, but I wouldn't let her. It was hard, but I managed to keep my wolf reigned in, letting her know I was going to let her out to play.

Zaryn's words had left hope inside me. 

I won't mark her..

Words that would make any female smile, but I shouldn't even be in this predicament in the first place. I should be the one with his mark already.

Yes, there was hope, but the aching inside my heart was slowly being replaced by anger. Anger at him for wanting me to wait, his unspoken implication - to watch that female's belly grow while I wait. The wolf in me wanted him because he is ours. She would wait, but she would also have taken out the competition. The human in me, that part was angry that  Zaryn would even insinuate that I just watch and see how things go, wait for him. I won't let my wolf out to take Grace down, but I will not be a back-up plan either.

I know he couldn't help what had happened between them but I still felt angry.

Anger for that she wolf who trapped my male unknowingly.

I couldn't be this sad female, showing my broken heart to everyone, hiding my face behind a curtain of chestnut hair when I had nothing to be ashamed of.

It wasn't my shame.

It was his.

It was hers.

I couldn't hide anymore. I had to face my family and friends eventually.

My parents came to my room religiously in the two weeks I had locked myself away. They knew I was inside, but I couldn't bring myself to face them. I didn't want their pity.

My father, the Alpha's Beta, Alpha's right hand wolf, he was respected by the pack and now instead of a time to rejoice, he was shamed by the Alpha's son's indiscretions against his own mate - my dad's only daughter. I didn't want to see the sadness in my parent's eyes. I didn't want to see disappointment or pity either.

I remember just holding a pillow over my face, quieting my sobs as my parent's voices tried coaxing me out of the room. They eventually gave up, knowing I wanted to be alone. I haven't seen anyone in these past two weeks.