Shatter ✔ #TheWattys2017

51. Unsteady

Chapter Soundtrack:
X Ambassador - Unsteady

Dedicated to xoXHaydenXox for
the song selection..

Ive had a lot of messages from my ghost readers aka silent readers and im so happy everyone likes my story! Im dancing around like a leprechaun on ... something now haha. I love you all. Its you guys who read vote and comment who make my story worth it.. and to you, i tip my hat and say thank you!
Xoxo chilee
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Nova

The darkness surrounded us as the inky forrest soared past the window.
Silence..
The silver moonlight overhead, taunting me. Its as if she has it out for me.

I sat in the passenger seat, quiet. After about thirty minutes of hysterical crying and weeping.. Conrad listening to my muffled words and trying to calm me.. i let the pain go and allowed the numbness to take me. Its like a never ending cycle.

Pain. Numbness. Pain. Numbness.

What comes when pain and numbness dont work anymore?

Ive noticed in the past, Anger made me feel again when nothing else would. But i had no energy to be angry anymore. Not at anyone other than myself.

Its all my fault.

My wolf , wallowing in greif.. her hatred at me for leaving.. at everyone.. for everything. She is curled up in a ball.. whining in my head..

All i felt now is that deep seeded mourning for my best friend that my monster of a mate killed before my eyes out of pure spite and jealousy.

I'm so glad im not pregnant with his pup.

The moment i started bleeding was a joyous moment but it was prematurely celebrated as the pain in my insides began cramping me to the point of tears, which i was already in because of Deacons death.

Conrad had driven as fast as he could to human territory while I sobbed in my seat, curled in the fetal position from the pain internally and in my chest from losing my best friend..

he found a store and ran in, quickly purchasing tampons, a pair of sweat pants, painkillers and panties in my size, bringing them out to me and helping me to the bathroom to change. Blood had soaked through to my leggings but only barely.

No one told me how painful it would be to finish a heat off with a cycle.

Thankfully i didnt ruin the seat. I was too emotional to be embarassed though. He said we needed to get out of there incase my pack came looking for us. Once we were on his territory, they wouldnt be able to cross.. not without his permission.

Despite being a beast of an Alpha, he's considerate.. helping me through this embarassing moment. I had already started to see the real wolf under that mask of broodiness.

That was a while ago.. before i began another round of gut wrenching lament of emotions. Conrad said the hormones didnt help the fact i was extra emotional but my friend was just murdered in front of me by my mate... how does that not take the cake on emotional distress?

This was by far the worst day of my life. Deacon is gone.. just like that. He never even did anything wrong. Not purposefully. I tried so hard to save him.. all my efforts for nothing.

He was my best friend since childhood.

We shared all our secrets together..

And now hes just... gone.