Shatter ✔ #TheWattys2017

30. Gracie

Grace

I couldn't help this feeling inside of me... my wolf hating me. Being on oposite ends of a spectrum of black and white..

But we were carrying a pup inside of us.. one that belonged to someone other than our mate. My wolf had become maternal.. but she was angry at me... taking our mate away from us..

Nic is our mate..

"Grace. Are you alright?" Aunt Anita's sharp voice, soft with concern for me brought me out of my reverie. I peered up at her dark eyes as they lingered over my swollen stomach, i couldn't hide it anymore. My stomach was too large now. My broken arm resting in the sling, hurt less now.. the pup inside me speeding up the healing.

"I'm fine aunt anita." My tone let her know i really wasn't as she eyed me skeptically.

I kept my gaze on the crackling fire, watching the embers float upwards toward the chimney... wishing my life could be different as i rocked back and forth in the cozy den of our cabin.

"Its for the best sweetheart. Trust me. You're doing the right thing." She smiled down at me, a hand brushing over mine reassuringly.

Aunt Anita was constantly trying to coax me into helping me feel better about everything.. she wanted the best for me but I wasnt the only one who benefited from everything that has transpired. I watched as she walked back to the kitchen table which was covered with open books, taking the pestal in her hand as she ground more herbs into the morter... humming a tune my mother, her sister, had sung to me as a pup.

Aunt Anita had always had many gifts from the moon.. she was always the most beautiful of all the wolves and had many admirers in her life.. but she never took a mate so that she could continue with her life's work.. using her gifts to better other's lives. Somehow though, she ended up in that darker area of the spectrum with her methods.. her once bright hazel eyes turned a dark deep almost black colored brown long ago once she gave up working in the moon goddesses favor.

She wanted me to believe this was all for the best.. what I was going through...

Somehow i had to disagree.

I didnt want to be this wolf.. this wolf that takes other females mates.. one who does disgusting things like that which caused me to get my arm broken. That isnt me.

A knock at the polished wooden door brought me out of my reverie as Aunt Anita smirked, placing her mortar and pestal down as she waltzed over, opening the door to reveal a familiar wolf, his face holding a blank stare.

"Ahh if it isn't my favorite soldier. Come on in sweetheart." Aunt Anita winked at me, ushering the dazed and confused wolf inside. I rolled my eyes,  she had gone too far this time.

I couldnt be here for this.. this was all too much. So many wolves were hurting at the expense of myself. I hated myself... getting up slowly out of the old wooden rocker, i made my way to the back bedroom which was mine. Passing all the drying herbs and  flowers as they hung from the rafters on my way, i thought of how deadly most of these would be to a wolf if they were to ingest any of these plants.

The shadow of depression hung low over my head as I entered my room, all done sea foam green and purples. But i had no reason to smile at it.. even though Zaryn made sure i had the things i needed and liked inside of it . I thought of the kiss we shared at the cliffs..  that kiss that held no spark.. no current.. it just... was.

He was my friend.. and now here we are.

Im such a horrible friend..

How could i not know? How could i not see?