Shatter ✔ #TheWattys2017

11. Matter

Chapter Soundtrack:
NF Paralyzed

Thank you RosieToovey for the music!

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Nova
The steam was so thick I could almost touch it.. Clouding my vision as the spray of hot water rained down, droplets forming on the etched glass shower door. With my cheek pressed against the glass, I drew a sad face on the fogged glass with my fingertip before wiping it away.

How my soul feels

I let the water get extra hot in order to wash away my guilt, scrubbing harshly until my skin turned red. Love bites and scratches made by his sharp fangs ran down my torso reminding me of our moment together..

I'll be reminded of it every time i take my clothes off until it fades..

Even then, I'll be reminded every time I see his strong arms, remembering that they held me so delicately.. Muscles rippling and veins trembling.

I sank down to the shower floor, snaking my arms around my knees as I held myself together, hot water raining down on my skin, scalding it in its wake...

Im paralyzed.

I felt so numb again.. My stomach was a giant knot once more.. Nausea my only friend. I would be breaking the promise I made to him. I just can't eat.. The thought of eating makes me want to throw up.

Sighing, a trembling hand reached up to cut off the water. Pushing myself up, I wobbled slightly, my system going too long without nutrients had my mind fuzzy.. Dizzy.. My body tingled, feeling like I would pass out at any moment.

I needed to get myself together...

Looking down at my gaunt form, my stomach concave and ribs sticking out of my skin. Even my breasts were smaller. I'm wasting away...

How does he think I'm still attractive?

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After I managed to get myself out and dry, I attempted to dress, trying my best not to pass out. Every miniscule task was leaving me exhausted from exertion, no energy in my body available to the working muscles which were eating away at themselves.

I slid on a pair of cut off jean shorts and a red fitted tee, leaving my hair long to dry on its own in loops. Slipping on some converse, I headed out my room and made the journey to my parents house.. Needing to find my brother and console him. He needed me now.

I might be younger than he but we are family and I can relate to what he's going through now.

Mates are special... Every wolf is taught that from a young age.. Accept maybe for Grace. She was another story.. But you wait your entire life for your mate.. You won't be truly happy if you don't find them and claim them.. And you claim them quickly. Most wolves claim them immediately..

I trudged down the dirt road a little further, my hair drying in the hot sun and warm breeze. The familiar turquoise door and willow tree I climbed as a pup brought back sweet memories as I entered the front door, thinking about a happier time.

"Mom? Dad? Nic?" I glanced around from room to room. I couldn't smell my parents but Nic was here somewhere.

I took the stairs two at a time before I came to his closed bedroom door. I stood there for a moment before knocking softly as I pushed a lock of chestnut hair behind my ear.