She's A Hurricane

Chapter Forty Four

Jamie's hand immediately detached from mine, falling by his side and a deep frown set into his forehead, "Wait, what?"

Everyone was staring at me, looking somewhat confused whilst waiting for me to explain myself, but I didn't know if I could. Going home just seemed like the right thing to do now, even if I didn't particularly want to.

"Y-you want to leave?" Jamie croaked his voice quiet and raspy. I felt my heart crack a little due to the emotion in his voice. He really didn't want me to go.

I found his hand again and intertwined our fingers before looking around the room,

"You guys h-have been so good to me... and I can't t-thank you enough... but I think I need to spend time with my own family..." I muttered looking away from Jamie's dumbfounded and pained expression.

"Oh Kat!" Mum shrilled, getting up and pulling me into a tight hug. Jamie's hand was quickly ripped from mine because of this.

Before I would have been annoyed by this and demanded she let go of me. However things were so different now. I returned her hug and smelt the distinctive scent of perfume on her clothes. I knew then I was making the right decision. How could I possibly move on with my life if I didn't focus on making things right with her?

"I'm sorry for everything Mum" I whispered into her ear as she continued to crush me, "I was such a bitch..." She shook her head and let out a soft laugh,

"Oh no, darling... don't worry about all that... you're okay now and that's all that matters to me..."

"I've got so much to tell you..."

"Later, we'll talk about it later" She assured me, affectionately rubbing my back.

I nodded in agreement when she finally released me. I glanced back at Jamie and then at Greg, suddenly feeling a faint hole in my chest. They had helped me in more ways than they could ever know and I didn't want to just turn my back on them. But they had to understand that I needed to do this. This was what was good for me right now.

I wanted to have some sort of closure to my old life and going back home would do that. I knew I would probably come back here one day, I just didn't know when that would be. I also knew it would be hard saying goodbye to everything I had grown fond of.

But most of all, it would hurt saying goodbye to the boy I was so deeply in love with.

***

The following day was probably the hardest, but then I didn't expect anything less. Greg hadn't backed down on his claim to hold a make-shift therapy session with my mum. It was safe to say I was absolutely petrified.

"It's going to be alright y'know? I'll be right there next to you" Jamie guaranteed me, before leaning down and pressing his lips against my cheek. I exhaled deeply at this and felt a wave of relief surge through me. His ability to make me feel better was amazing.

"Thank you" I blushed, leaning into him slightly.

Despite feeling somewhat eased, I still had the task of revealing all to my mum. How could I even begin to explain to her, that the man she had been married to had actually tried to drown me when I was only a child? She was going to be devastated.

Jamie and I entered the familiar therapy room at the back of the house where Greg and I had had all of our past meetings. Oddly, I found the room to be comforting, perhaps because I had grown so accustomed to it. Besides the usual armchairs, two more had been brought in to create a small circular layout. Jamie sat down next to me, and my mum was already perched next to Greg.

"Kat, are you sure you're okay with doing this?" Greg asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Yeah... I'm sure" I replied simply, although feeling beyond nervous. I don't know why I felt like this. It was not my fault what happened with my dad. I guess I was just worried my mum would be angry because I kept it from her for so many years.

"Now Iris... what Kat is about to say may be quite the shock for you, but please remain calm and listen, alright?"

"Alright..." Mum responded, although now looking a lot more concerned. Why had Greg gone and said that? Was that meant to make her feel better? He was only making things worse.

"Okay Kat, start from the beginning."

And I did, no matter how tough it was.

I told her everything. I relived every single gritty detail of that night. I began by telling her how my dad had lost his temper. I told her how he had shouted at me before mercilessly shoving my face under the soapy bath water. I told her how I couldn't breathe and struggled hard until I was almost drowned. I explained how he hid this from her when she came back home and made me promise to do the same. I told her how I had blamed myself all these years and thought it was my fault for making him angry in the first place. I told her I was so very sorry, and then the tears came.

Not from me, but from her.

"O-oh my g-god!" She wept, tears practically gushing down her face like an out-of-control waterfall, "I h-had no idea! How couldn't I h-have known!?"

"Because h-he made me promise not to tell..."

"I just d-don't understand... w-why would he do such a thing!" She sobbed, shaking her head hopelessly, "His own daughter!"

I hated seeing her so broken and upset. I would be too though if I found out the person I had loved was an absolute animal.

"Why was h-he such a m-monster? I knew he was n-nasty but... but..."

"Here" Greg mumbled quietly, handing her a tissue. She choked through her tears and wiped her face, smudging her dark make-up down her cheeks. I gulped, looking over at Jamie, who gave me a slanted smile.

He then grabbed my hand and rubbed his large thumb over my skin gently. This had always been comforting to me and I couldn't help but feel slightly more at ease. I felt safe next to him and I think that's the best part of our relationship.

"I-I'm so sorry sweetheart... I-I should have s-seen the signs! I should have r-realised what he had done"

"It's not your fault Mum... You couldn't have known... I should have told you sooner" I admitted, staring at the distressed woman in front of me. Once again, I felt as though it was my fault she was crying. Guilt overwhelmed me as multiple questions rushed through my head. What would have happened if I told her when I was younger? Would she even have believed me back then? Would she have been angrier?

"It's nobody's fault" Greg said, "Although I do believe that it could be the cause of your behaviour Kat..."

I nodded, knowing he was right. We had been over this previously. I lashed out and did horrible things because I didn't want to feel inferior again. I wanted to be able to control my life and what happened to me. I didn't want to be scared or alone. But maybe that's exactly what I had been doing.

I had been pushing people away for so long, that I was alone. I had no real friends and I always argued with my mum. It was only when I let my guard down that people started to like me for who I really was. Ironic, isn't it?

"I'm not going to be like that anymore" I declared firmly, intently staring at my mum. She glanced up at me in surprise, still dabbing her eyes with a tissue, "I'm going to be a better person now, I know I am..."

She smiled weakly and nodded whilst Jamie gave me hand an extra tight squeeze. A smile tugged on my lips. I don't think I'd been this happy in years. It's like I had had a huge weight lifted from my shoulders; a weight that had been pulling me down for eleven years. I was free now.

I had built bridges with my mum and had a person who loved me unconditionally, despite me causing him so much pain, and above all I had a family. A real family where finally I felt as though I belonged.