She's A Hurricane

Chapter Forty One

There was silence between us, the kind of silence where you could literally hear crickets chirping in the distance. I just didn't know where or how to begin. Would Jamie forgive me? Did I tell him everything about what had happened between Matt and I?

Matt was his best friend after all and I had had sex with him. I wanted to be honest with him though, but I also didn't want him to hate me even more, which is why I remained silent for a long time.

"I'm sorry" Jamie said, breaking the tension. My head shot up in surprise. I hadn't expected him to speak first.

"W-what?"

"I should have listened to you... I know how my mum can be... I just didn't realise how bad things were with her..."

"It's really not a big deal..."

"Yes it is" He insisted, frowning slightly, "You're my girlfriend... and I should have been there for you, because well... you know... I love you Kat"

Guilt poured over me like scolding hot water. My insides were churning agonisingly. I couldn't do this. I couldn't let him forgive me when I had done something so terrible behind his back. For once in my pathetic life, I chose to be honest because the truth was I was in love with Jamie and he deserved to know what a damaged person I really was.

"S-stop..." I breathed, feeling the lump in my throat reappear. I willed myself not to cry. One person seeing me break down was enough for now. I took a deep breath.

"I-I... have to tell you something..."

"Whatever it is, I don't care... my mum deserves what's coming to her" He replied firmly, edging towards me and placing a hand on my arm in comfort. Impulsively, I snapped back and shook my head frantically. I couldn't bear how nice he was being.

"No... it's not about her..."

Jamie's frown deepened and he gently tilted his head, "Eh?"

Bravely, I locked eyes with him and felt my heart sink. Was I really about to do this? Was I really about to give up the best thing in my life just because I couldn't live with the guilt? I used to be good at lying. There was a time I would not have even batted an eyelid, but now the feeling consumed me.

"I'm so sorry..." I mumbled, my voice breaking.

"What? Kat, what are you talking about?"

"Last night... I err... bumped into Matt..." I admitted quietly, biting the inside of my cheek anxiously. I didn't know whether I was ready to hurt Jamie in this way, however it was too late to turn back now.

"And well... he was buying me drinks... and... and..." My voice trailed off as emotion engulfed me. I dug my nails into my leg to stop myself from crying. I could literally see the confusion growing on my unsuspecting boyfriend's face.

"One thing led to another... and we... we..."

"Oh my god..." Jamie seethed, finally putting two and two together and understanding what I was getting at. I had never seen so much pain in his eyes, "You and Matt? You... you..."

I nodded wordlessly, my eyes slowly moving to the kitchen table. He looked like an abandoned puppy in a pet shop and my heart skipped a beat, I couldn't look at him anymore.

"What the fuck? What the actual fuck? You and my best friend... What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shouted, standing up and pushing the table forcibly away from him. I jumped back in fright, also standing up and my eyes widening.

"I'm s-sorry! Jamie p-please! I-I was drunk and—"

"And that makes it okay does it? A couple of drinks and you're anyone's for the night?!"