Hatred [Haylor AU]

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CHAPTER 35:
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT I'M FEELING!!!

{UNEDITED}
Like I suspected, my eyes were red and puffy and I don't feel like getting up and what's even worse is it's going to be 'my time of the month' and the fucking cramps.

I force myself to get out of bed and groaning every ten seconds. I haven't been checking my dates so when I check the dates at what seems like 4 in the morning, I knew my time of them month was either going to be today to tomorrow. Which explains why I have been very emotional lately. Blame the PMS, my friend.

After showering and getting dressed, I applied on my make up and add a little concealer to hide the dark circles and puffy eyes.

I went downstairs after that, not feeling like having breakfast. I went straight to my car and told mom to drive me to school. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone today and I usually get really moody at this time of the month. At least, I have an excuse.

It wasn't long until I reach school. I said bye to mom then got inside the school. The school is already packed by now, but because I'm one of the populars, people made way for me. So I reached class on time.

I took a sit at an available seat away from Harry. I'm not ready to face him to be honest. How am I supposed to after what he did?

He shut me up by kissing me, he left me under the rain with my questions, he beat the shit out of Calvin, and he punched me.

So please explain to me, should I talk to him?

Clearly, any normal girl would've said no and ignore the guy.

I shake all the thoughts from my head, I move my head a little planning to take a quick glance at Harry. But my whole body froze, he is staring at me. HE IS STARING AT ME.

I know I have to look away, but I can't bring myself to look away if he's just that attractive. My thoughts of him being attractive disappeared, and then the sight of him punching Calvin came, the sight of him leaving me again came, the vision of his hands getting closer to me.

I bring my head to look away and this time it did work. The maths teacher came in announcing we're having a quiz. Shit, can Harry do well in his test? I didn't tutor him yesterday.

I take a glance at him, he seems fine. He didn't look like he's having problems with the test. I shut all the thoughts away, letting myself focus on the exam.

I look at the multiple choice question in front of me. My brain definitely not in the best mood today. My cerebrum seems to be asleep and I can't get myself to focus on the test.

How do you find m and n? How am I supposed to focus on how to express OA and OC in terms of a and c?

I shake my thoughts away, reminding myself again that I need to focus and stop thinking about Harry. I have to concentrate.

"10 minutes left," the teacher announced.

I still have two blank questions. I quickly scribble the equations, fully aware that the calculations may be wrong. But honestly, It's hard to think about maths when he's in my mind twenty-four seven.

All my questions are done but I'm seriously doubting my answers. I might've messed up on the vectors part. "Stop writing. Collect your papers." The teacher ordered.

Shaking the unsure feeling off, I went to the front to hand my paper. Then getting back to my sit.

"The bell ranged a few minutes ago, You may now dismiss." She informed us.

I take a glance at Harry, who is practically at the door ready to leave. I sigh. Getting out as well.

Then lunch came, here comes awkwardness. "We can sit in a different table if you want to," Selena had offered. But I declined saying, "it's alright. A little awkwardness won't kill."

Like I suspected it was awkward, the usual jocks who make the most noises in the table seemed to realize there's something wrong between us. And there was Calvin, bruised and the scowl visible in his face. I took a quick glance at Harry, and our eyes met. I quickly look away.

"Why is this table so quiet?" Karlie ask, breaking the awkward tension. "Ouch! Don't do that!" She winced in pain.

"What happened? Are you ok?" Calvin asked, looking concern.

Snarky? Damn, I think I know who he's crushing on.

"I was talking to Selena. She stepped my leg. Purposely." She said bitterly.

"Sorry," Selena said sarcastically.

"Can you people make some noise? It's getting really awkward. And you two!" She said, pointing to me and harry, "just because both of you have something going on, you don't have to be so awkward around each other and just talk."

"So you're blaming me?" I asked in disbelief. Annoyed would be an understatement. I was pissed. Mad. Betrayed. Irritated. Angry. Furious. All at the same time.

"I'm not!" She denied, "I'm just telling you guys to grow up and start acting like adults. Work things out. Because ignoring will not fix anything. Why don't one of you just grow a ball and admit the fact that you guys like each other."

"Just shut up! You're not my mother! You don't even know half of the story and you're here lecturing and shouting at me like you know everything?" I fired out.

"I'm not." She fired back. "If you would just be mature and actually tell him you like him. Maybe you guys would be talking right now. Heck, you'll be kissing right now."

"It's not even your problem. So shut up. I don't need your stupid boring lecture to tell me what's going on. You don't even know what happened between me and him and you're shouting in the cafeteria in front of everyone. Humiliating me. Your best friend. Oh, you know what? We're over. I'm done here!" I shouted.

I stomped out of the cafeteria. I don't care if I'm overreacting or I'm being stubborn. But I just. I don't know. She don't even know anything. I know I should've told her and Gigi about this and I'm being unfair for only telling this to Selena but right now I'm just not ready. I need to get off this pain in my chest. I need time to think. I need to get a day off to figure everything out. Figure myself out. Figure everything out.

. . . anD THIS IS THE PART WHERE EVERYTHING GETS COMPLICATED. Comment your thoughts? Who do you think is wrong?

everyone is commenting snakes on both taylor's & calvin's account. And I'm here like, 'I'm staying out of the drama and ship Haylor' lollll my poor haylor heart still believes they will go back:/