Uproar

Chapter 29

Rob

A solid week and he hasn't come to me. Probably because of all the interviews we had to do now and and other press stuff. The amount of shows we played in a week was rising and it was becoming exhausting.

"Are you sure? I heard it's a pretty kick ass movie."

"Yeah Brad, I just wanna take a nap after I eat," I replied, picking at my food. 

"Alright. Well you're always welcome to come join us in the back."

Brad patted my shoulder and followed Dave and Joe to the back room. I had no idea what they wanted to watch, but I could care less. I sighed and decided to put my food away and eat it later. As I opened the curtain to my bunk, I felt arms snake around my waist. "Hey Robbie."

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. "Hey." Chester nuzzled his head in the crook of my shoulder, kissing my neck. 

"Everyone's watching a movie. We can mess around for a bit."

I gulped as he kisses my neck again, his lips lingering. "It's been a week baby...I'm so fucking horny." I felt him push his hips against my butt. I could feel his arousal. I sighed, trying to ignore that and my body already reacting to it.

"Chester...we gotta talk real quick." His movements slowed. 

"What's up."

I turned around and he let go of me. Facing him I took a deep breath. " We can't keep doing this Chaz. I--I don't think the rest of the guys would approve what's going on."

"Who cares what they think! We can keep it a secret. Who cares what Mike thinks!" He whispered, grabbing my shoulders. 

"I didn't mention Mike." He didn't say anything as he wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his head on my shoulder. 

"Rob you can't. I actually do c--"

I pushed him away softly. "No you don't. And it hurts me to say that but I know it's not true. You don't know it though Ches. I wish you did. I wish you knew what you were doing half of the time. What you decide on doing Chaz, you don't realize what the outcome would be. You...I know you're using me....I'm sorry."

His arms fell to his sides, hurt filling his eyes. "Rob...please..."

I shook my head, "I'm sorry..." I said again. Tears were slowly running down his pale cheeks. His fists were clenched at his sides. I turned back around and got into bed.

Chester

"Chester please stop already," Dave cried as he grabbed the bottle out of my hands. "You've had way to much already!"

"You filled the entire fridge with alcohol."

Brad leaned against the small counter top we had, letting out a short huff of air. He face contorted in pain as he tried positioning his ankle so it would feel comfortable. He had hurt his ankle doing I don't even care what.

I rolled my eyes and tried grabbing the bottle back from Dave, only to fail miserably, just flailing my arm out like an idiot. "Look if you wanna talk go ahead. I have no idea what's making you like this."

"Just fuck off."

Dave huffed and stood up, leaving me alone at the small table in the bus, Brad limping behind him. He slammed the bottle down and a little beer split out. I took the cold bottle back and drank it. Groaning I put the bottle back down and put my head in my arms, the buzzing in my ears becoming too loud.

I thought about what Rob said the night before. Did I really love him? Did I really, truly care? About a year ago I was questioning if he really liked me back. I mean, he kissed me back that day in the studio. And he hadn't said no to having sex...well until yesterday.

Now that I think about it, not since our tour started a few months ago, I stopped asking myself what I felt towards him. Maybe Rob was right after all. Maybe I was using him just for sex. I groaned as I felt a soft squeeze in my chest. It hurt having Rob push me away like that. And what about him saying it hurt him to say that he knew I was using him. I didn't know myself, but was that a sign that he liked, or loved, me?

I felt weak and small. I'm such a stupid bitch. I whore around with one of my best friends and take drugs like my life friends on it. I'm pathetic. I pull my hood over my head, as if it could hide me away from the world forever. Not like it could. Our band was becoming huge.

"I can start what I want to start!" I heard a cell phone shut and someone stomp up the steps of the bus. I ignored it and kept my head down, my body feeling heavy. "Fucking pricks," I heard Mike mutter. I felt him sit across from me and then a bottle cracking open. I forced myself to sit up properly to see what he was doing.

Mike stopped his movements and looked at me. "I didn't realize that was you."

I shrugged and put my hood down. "Just not feeling good and I wanted sit sit down."

"When are you not feeling bad." He put the bottle opener down and took a drink. 

"You seem upset. And you're usually not."

"Just our stupid record company. I wanted to get started on another album but...just remix our songs and add to them."

"Oh. That sounds cool."

I groaned and grabbed my head. My headache was starting again. "Why do you do this to yourself."

"What?" I asked Mike, rubbing my eyes. "You know what I mean. You haven't had an actual meal in who knows how long and you're always drinking."

I shrugged and yawned. "Since when do you care," I asked mid-yawn.

"Please don't tell me you're tired. We arrive at the hotel on less than an hour and then we have to go perform."

"And?"

He sighed. "You're such a pain in the ass."

"Literally." I snorted and Mike groaned. He stood up and took his bottle. Making his way to the small fridge, he took more of my beer and went to the back of the bus.

As I was drinking I saw Rob emerge from his bunk, his shirt off. I watched him silently. He dug around his bunk and grabbed a shirt, putting it on slowly, as if teasing. But he didn't know I was sitting here watching him. I bit my lip and tried not to think about anything. Failing, I decided to get up and go to my bunk. I avoided Rob with the best of my ability and climbed into my bunk. I grabbed my duffel bag and grabbed what little drugs I had left. I'm probably gonna have to buy some off a random guy again soon.

***

I stumbled into my hotel room and got dressed into something else. I made my way back downstairs. Images of Rob flashed in my mind and I instantly had a hard on. I tried to ignore it but I knew that would prove difficult since I was going to be stuck with him the rest of the night.

I reached the lobby in a acceptable time and waited close to Dave. "Have you seen Mike?"

"Why are you asking me?" 

Dave shrugged and looked at the elevators again. "He hasn't come down yet." He turned again and sighed. "I did see him drinking too. Hopefully he didn't knock out."

A few minutes passed and Mike stumbled out of the elevator. "Took you long enough," Brad told him. He grabbed Mike's shoulders and pushed him out the doors. We all loaded into the van and made out way to the venue. My vision was fussy and I was slightly disoriented but I didn't care. I knew wouldn't mess up tonight anyways.