Uproar

Chapter 47

Chester

I yawned and continued signing more of the CDs. I passed the case onto Rob and he signed it, sliding towards Dave.

"What time is it?" I yawned. Mike checked his watch. "Just a little after midnight."

"Ugh, barely?"

"Yeah," he chuckled awkwardly. It was the first time we had a stable, less awkward, conversation since the wedding. I pressed my lips together, remembering the painful decision to reject his kiss. I knew it was best to. Even just the dancing was putting me on edge. Mikes touch burned painfully. I couldn't imagine what a kiss could've done.

"Ugh, there's still a lot of people here to buy the album," Mike added, nodding towards the long line of excited fans. Mike signed another copy of the record and passed it to me. I quickly signed it and passed it to Rob.

"Is everything okay," I asked Rob as he messily scrawled into the cover. I noticed he wasn't talking to me much. Well, now that I think about it he hasn't talked to me at all since Mike and I got along. I knew I had to talk to him, but it was going to be difficult for me. I was still torn up from the night we shared awhile back.

"Fine."

I opened my mouth to ask him again, but I paused. He didn't even look at me. I knew he wasn't happy with everything going on between Mike and I.

A couple of months ago, a few days after Mike apologized, he asked if I would consider dating him again. I told him I wasn't sure, since all the pain he inflicted on me was too much and I didn't know how to feel about him anymore. All the guys were present during this conversation, including Rob, and I guess Rob had a feeling I was considering it.

I liked Rob, but like Mike, I didn't know where things would head of I started something serious with him. Everything about this scared me.

"This is gonna take forever," Mike groaned as a worker in the music store brought in another box of CDs. I groaned too, feeling already too tired to continue. Rehab has been harsh on me and I still haven't stopped having seizures, making it physically impossible for me to stay up this late.

"This sucks. Kinda."

"Whatever it takes to make the fans happy," Mike chuckled. I chuckled too and nodded in agreement.

***

"Alright, see you tomorrow," I called to Mike as he walked towards his car. I watched him get in his car and start it. It was a new car that he had barely bought, giving the old one to his brother Jason. I continued to stare after him, even as the car pulled out of it's space and out of the  parking lot. I turned around to head to the other side of the lot towards my car, and saw Rob walking out of the building.

I decided it was probably a good time to talk to him, thinking maybe I wouldn't have another chance to.

"Rob!" I called, jogging to catch up to him. He didn't turn around when I called him again. When I finally caught up to him, he still didn't turn around. Having already reached his car, he unlocked it. "Rob, can I talk to you?" He was already about to enter his car.

"Rob please listen to me!" I said firmly, grabbing his wrist and turning him to face me.

"What?" he snapped. I let go of his wrist as if it had burned me. "What do you need?"

"I-- We need to talk," I stuttered, gulping and putting my hands in my pocket.

"About what? About how you want to go back with Mike and forget all about me?"

"Rob it isn't like that..."

"Then what?"

"I..." I trailed off, realising there was tears rolling down his face.

"I'm sorry. I know what I said before. I know I need to get over you but it's so fucking hard," he whispered as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "God, I just want to go right out and say that I love you, but it's probably just infatuation...or lust."

I blinked. Well, he really did know what the true nature of his feelings were. He just chose to ignore it.

"I feel like we could be happy together, but...I don't even know what you're thinking about this anymore. If you're thinking about it at all."

I hugged myself, rubbing my arm. Rob continued talking. "And then I remember that you always tell me I remind you of Mike. And I don't know what to do."

"Rob," I started. I didn't know what to make of this. I didn't want to have to guys fighting over me, as flattering as it sounded, and Mike doesn't even know yet about this whole thing between Rob and I. 

"I don't know what to say. I really don't think I'm stable to be in a relationship right now."

"Ches," he whimpered, grabbing my shoulders and leaning down towards my face.

"Don't--" I whispered, my voice quivering as I put my hands at his chest, stopping him from kissing me.  My hands felt weird against his chest. There was a tingling, numbing sensation. They also felt like they had been scrubbed raw with sandpaper, they burned. "I don't need this right now, from anyone. I'm sorry Rob."

"No...please, Ches...I lo--"

"No, don't say that," I croaked, cutting him off. I slowly pulled away from him and walked away. I could hear his breath catch and then small, quiet sobs. I bit my lip as my own tears filled my eyes and began to run down my face.

***

"Wait so technically it was a break up?" Dave gasped.

"For the last time, we aren't dating, we never were," I sighed before sipping on the coffee Linsey poured me. "I just needed to explain that I wasn't sure about being in a relationship. And...he...didn't take it so well."

"But didn't you tell that to Mike too? In front of all of us?"

"Yeah, but that was for different reasons. When this all started, during the first recordings, I was really just trying to get into Rob's pants. And yes, I'm admitting it." I sighed and stared into the mug full of coffee.

Dave gasped, dropping his cookie onto the table. Linsey shook her head and picked it up, popping it into her mouth. "And I thought it was all just friendly gestures that got carried away?"

I shrugged, "Well...that too. It was all that stuff that pushed me into wanting that. But I felt really bad because I was just basically using him for sex the first time. And I guess that started evolving into something else, for him, at least. And he knew I was using him. In fact, he pointed it out when I was high off my ass once."

Dave rubbed his chin, thinking. I stopped mid-sip, staring at him. "You're growing out your beard? For once?"

"What? Oh yeah."

"Wait wait. Is it...oh my gosh is that orange?"

"That's what I asked!" Linsey piped in. We both broke into giggles as Dave glared at us.

"Okay, yes it is. We're getting off topic."

I stopped giggling and took another sip of my coffee as Dave continued. "Well, Rob always had a weird way of thinking. But at least he's trying. I mean, at least he understands that you really only went to him because he reminded you of Mike and he's trying to respect that."

"Kinda didn't," I mumbled, remembering how he first reacted when I confronted him in the music shop's parking lot.

"Right now Ches, just stick to thinking about it. Like you said. You're probably not at a point in your life where dating is not a good idea. And not only for you, but also for whoever you chose in the end."