Uproar

Chapter 50

Chester

I yelled out angrily and slammed the microphone into one of the tech boxes a little too harshly. I was furious. For a number of reasons.

One, my body was reacting badly now a days with hardly any drugs in my system. Mood swings were expected most of the time.

Two, the guys all found out somehow about Mike and I having sex. They kept pestering me about it and it was just so embarrassing. Mike apologized a million times and swore he never opened his mouth. I believe him, but it's just so embarrassing and awkward when someone brings it up. Well whatever. What happened, happened.

I remember that same morning, I woke up feeling the burning come back again, all over my body this time. Maybe being drunk numbed it, but I wasn't sure. Or maybe it was regret that made it come back. Whatever caused it again, I didn't care, I wanted the feeling to go away. I had spent almost an hour in the tour bus bathroom trying to scrub myself to get rid of that invisible pain under my skin.

And third off, fucking Rob. He was being nearly as much of a prick as Mike when he hated me. Why can't everyone be okay with me. He ignored me and maddogged me all the time. Rob wasn't verbal and he never made any rude, degrading side comments, but the ignoring was getting annoying.

This show had been fucking hell since I had missed my ques that were linked to the drum rhythms or samples since Rob decided it'd be great to fuck with me. I wasn't having it and I was going to fix this once and for all.

"Robert!" I shouted, storming into the dressing room. He was in there, the only other person being Joe. Joe took one look at me and back out of the room.

"What the hell is your fucking problem!" I shouted, slamming the door shut. Rob glared at me and kept banging away at his drum pad.

"Nothing."

"No, you fucking tell me. Your shenanigans shouldn't be affecting shows Rob! So tell me right now what the problem is."

Rob huffed and took both his drumsticks in one hand, gripping them both tightly, making his knuckles turn white.

"I told you in the fucking parking lot at Barnes and Noble."

"That still doesn't give you an excuse!"

"Then what do you want me to say?" Rob shouted defensively, standing and tossing his drumsticks into the couch. "I told you what I felt and you pushed me away! And I was understanding all this, until you fucked Mike! You're a fucking liar! You just wanted him this whole fucking time!"

"I didn't want that to happen," I huffed. "I know what I said and I really do regret sleeping with him the other night." I pursed my lips. Thinking back now, I felt like I suddenly didn't regret it much then, but I was still a bit uncomfortable with the thought of it. It sent shivers down my spine.

"I don't believe you," Rob scoffed. I let out a frustrated sigh, looking away for a moment, still fuming.

"I didn't mean for it to happen...I--" I stopped. I bit my lip and looked down at my shoes. "I knew what would...but...we--"

Rob held my shoulders, making my head snap up. He pressed his lips hard against mine, kissing me firmly. I stopped breathing for a moment, my heart racing. No. This wasn't okay. I whimpered and placed my hands on his chest, pushing him away. The burning rushed back, stinging my lips, hands and shoulders where Rob's hands rested painfully.

"No!" I cried out, jumping away from Rob, pushing his hands off me. "No...You know I can't....not now..." I found myself sobbing. I attempted to hold down them down, only making it worse and choking them out. I didn't want this. I didn't love him. But I didn't love Mike either. Not anymore. At least I think I don't. I'm not sure anymore. It was frustrating. These two guys that care about me so much loved me, and I couldn't find what I was feeling. My skin felt like it was on fire. My head was spinning, I felt so dizzy.

"Why would you...?" I cried out, walking backwards slowly. The back of my hand was pressed against my lips, I was hoping the clamminess from my hands would cool the sensation. Rob clenched his jaw and back up into the couch, collapsing into it, watching me. "I told you I can't....do this--"

"I can't either. I can't hold back," he responded quietly. I kept backing up and turned around and bolted out the door, terrified of what may come if I stayed any longer. I walked briskly, sobbing and wiping my teary eyes with my sleeve. I didn't notice where I was walking and I ended up walking into someone.

"Chaz?" Mike asked, looking suddenly worried. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

I shook my head, not wanting to explain, afraid of the consequences of I did. I hugged him and buried my face in his chest. He rubbed my back soothingly. I knew what this would've looked like if Rob saw us, but just anyone other than him could've helped. Even with my face, chest, back and arms suddenly feeling like they were placed in lava, I still clung onto Mike. I felt so smothered by the two of them.

"Chester....hey....you gotta tell me what's wrong," Mike said softly, his other hand running through my growing hair. I shook my head furiously, hiccuping and shaking. I pushed away from Mike, taking his hand from my head.

"I-I can't Mike," I stuttered. "It's just so hard to explain."

"I won't get mad at you," he promised, reassurance in his voice. I looked up at him hopefully. Maybe he could help, maybe with at least Rob. Maybe he would help me with all this confusion in my head. But how could I trust him? He seemed to have changed for the best, wanting to help me now. It was all so unclear.

"Promise?"

"I promise. I won't make the same mistake I did before Chaz. Just... tell me what happened."

"It's about Rob," I sighed, feeling myself shrink shamfully. Mike raised an eyebrow, then rested as if he was thinking something over. My heart raced. What was he thinking. Was he mad and holding it back. Did he already know? Was he gonna be upset that more drama's on the band?

"Well I can talk to him. Just tell me what happened." I blinked and nodded, relieved that Mike chose to be understanding and help out.

"He insists that he loves me. But I don't like him back. He thinks that we should be together." I gave out a shuddery breath. It was out. But he didn't know exactly everything.

"What did he do?"

"He kissed me," I mumbled, bringing my hand to my lips. "Even after I told him that I don't want to be in any relationship."

Mike shook his head. "So he forced himself on you...?"

"Pretty much," I sighed, rubbing my arm. I was so lightheaded. And tired. The burning wasn't dissipating  at all.

When Mike didn't respond, I looked up. He had his arms crossed, looking down at the floor, chewing on his lip. It was like this for a few minutes and I didn't know if he was thinking or trying not to burst out angrily.

"Mike?"

"Hold on," he grumbled, pushing past me. He began walking briskly down the hall. A few seconds past before it dawned to me what was about to happen.

"W-wait, Mike!" I called after him, stumbling after him. He walked fast. My legs quivered. I should've known something would happen.

I finally caught up to Mike as he was opening the door to the room Rob was in. I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything when Mike automatically bombarded Rob.

"Everything okay Rob? Everything dandy?"

"Mike, what are you--"

"Don't play dumb," Mike snapped as he glared at Rob. "Leave Chester alone."

"Why are you defending him? You've been a jerk to him for years now! Why should you care?"

Mike paused. "Yes I know. But it's different now, Rob."

"Then let me be with him! He's not yours Mike. If you really loved him as much as you said before, you would've never have done those things to him."

Rob glared at Mike as his face fell, looking at Rob with a look of defeat. His expression changed, turning into the expression I had gotten so used to before.

"Fine. I get it," Mike spat, pushing Rob back and walking out of the dressing room, pushing past me. Rob huffed and turned to me, but I had already turned and left, not wanting to be alone with him. Or anybody.