Looking for the Light Through the Darkness

Chapter 64: It's Okay

They deserved to know about Ashley Waters and my connection. They had taken me in. Accepted me and the danger building around me as well as the injuries I had sustained. But I still didn't know if I was ready to tell them. Taking a slow breath to ground myself, I looked toward Kota and forced myself to begin the story of my past in the South.

As I began to explain about how I left Ashley Waters only a day before they had arrived, I heard the sharp breaths of more than one person causing me to spin around in my chair. In the doorway, the scent of Irish Spring Soap wafted in. Mr. Blackbourne now knew as well. These nine males had appeared at Ashley Waters the day after I had disappeared from my life on Sunnyville Court. They knew who my sister was and therefore they knew the extent to which I was hurt by my family.

Doing my very best to keep calm, I couldn't hold back a few tears that had begun to slip down my cheeks and I instantly pushed them off my face. Sucking in a shaky breath I pushed forward with my story. "My family had moved into a small yellow house near the woods only a couple of minutes away from the high school. I was to start my freshman year but my step-mother decided that she had other plans for me. Rather than help me prepare for the school year, she began to beat me." I paused holding back all of the emotions that hit my chest as different memories resurfaced.

Would these boys believe my story? If they knew Marie. They then knew my family. Marie probably told them what happened when she confided in them. But there could always be doubt.

"I did my best to put up with it. Avoided the house as much as possible and played in the woods but as the school year approached I wasn't going to be able to explain away the beatings-" My emotions took over and I was forced to stop. Swallowing hard, I tried to continue but my voice cut off instantly and I was forced to take a sharp uneven breath. Hands slipped over my own and I realized that my hands had started to dig into my thighs.

"Miss. Sang can you hear me?" Mr. Blackbourne's voice was close now. I hadn't noticed him move while I was talking. His hands moved to my sides allowing me to focus on his touch along with Kota who held my hands.

I opened my mouth to respond but my breath continued to escape me and suddenly Kota disappeared from in front of me and Mr. Blackbourne's hands had rushed to my cheeks. Guiding me forward, I put my head between my knees and Mr. Blackbourne's voice was in my ear. "You are doing okay. It is all going to be alright. You are safe. You are having a panic attack."

Tears began to slip down my face faster now as I struggled for breath and fingers slipped under my chin to my neck. "Pookie. I want you to focus on my voice okay?" Sean's voice was ever so soft as his fingers found my pulse. "Breath in." He commanded and I managed a small amount of air before letting it out but I could feel myself become dizzy.

The next thing I remember is feeling a gentle hand touching the bare skin of my side. Shifting a little, I realize I am on a bed and no longer in the dining room. "Aggele?" Silas's calm deep voice washes over me, my body relaxing instantly. "Good girl." He whispers touching my stomach slightly to keep me still on the bed. "Will you let me take off the covering for your scars? It will help."

Nodding slowly, I feel Silas shift my thin shirt up and unzip the fabric wrapped tightly around my waist. Letting out an uneven but grateful breath, I felt my body tremble as Silas's fingers slowly traced over my ruined skin. "Just focus on your breathing." He whispers slowly bringing my shirt back down causing me to shiver.

A blanket is instantly wrapped around me and I let out a slow breath. "What happened?" I whisper and I feel a hand gently caress my cheek and then pushing my hair out of my face.

"You had a panic attack while you were talking to Kota." He whispers slowly rubbing my back over the thick covers. "Doc managed to get you to calm down but you had lost a lot of air so you collapsed."

"Sorry." I whisper shivering more under the covers and I press myself into Silas's side embarrassed. I had passed out over telling a story that had happened over four years ago. I should have been over it by now.

"It isn't your fault." Silas whispers softly. "Nathan and Kota were also super surprised to find out that you lived across the street from them throughout the summer and didn't even notice." I froze for a moment before sitting up quickly.

My heart pounds in my chest in pain. No...

"Sang?" Silas's voice was soft and filled with confusion as I rushed out of the room, stumbling a little and moving to the stairs. I can hear his footsteps following close behind me but I ignore them and pick up my pace. Rushing down the wood stairs, I begin to slip when suddenly I am pressed against someone smelling heavily of leather and sweat. Nathan.

"Sang?" Nathan said confused and slightly breathy himself but before he could go on, my head shoots up and I look up toward his voice.

"I didn't know!" I state quickly my voice uneven once more and instantly I feel Nathan's hands tense against the side of my waist. He was still only thinking of me and not of himself.

"Sang calm down." Nathan whispered his voice filled with confusion as he pulled me a little closer. "You just got over a panic attack your body is tired." He whispers his voice low making me take a moment.

Taking a very slow breath, Nathan's hands guiding my sides through the motions and I make sure that I have my breathing under control before I meet his voice once more. "I didn't know you lived across the street." I whisper and suddenly Nathan tenses a little before relaxing. "I wouldn't have said anything to Kota either if I had known-" A finger suddenly appears on my lips forcing me to take another calming breath when I suddenly feel lips press against my forehead.

"It's okay."