The Ride | ✔

33-Guilt

Kerrie's pov

"kerrie" Kate ran over to me squealing.

She hugged me with a lot of excitement but I couldn't move. I was paralyzed with guilt but also relieved because Kate seemed abselutely oblivious to what had happened, that meant she hadn't seen us. Why does that make me feel like a bad person.

I'm such a horrible sister but my lips were still tingling and I couldn't concentrate. She let go of me, hugged Daniel and congratulated him on his performance.

I'd like to congratulate him on his performance, Wait, what?

"Ker, you were abselutely amazing" Nathan praised smiling at me.

I hadn't even notice he was here, i mean I hadn't noticed him standing in front of me. I need to get myself together.

"Thank you" I smiled at him and hugged him. My head was spinning so fast with all that happened, but all I knew was that I wanted to kiss Daniel again. That made me feel ten times worse because I was currently in the arms of the boy I should've wanted .

"Let's go home" Nathan offered and took a hold of my hand.

The walk to the car was extremely uncomfortable. Me walking with Nathan and Daniel walking with my sister. Every time I'd look back Daniel would be looking my way. I should really stop looking back. As Nathan and I were ahead of them, we got to the car faster and I quickly sat in the passengers seat. I couldn't sit with Daniel,

"Hey your in my seat" Kate whined once she made it to the car.

"Sorry, first come first serve" I smiled at her, hoping I didn't sound as nervous as I felt.

She huffed and glared at me "Well at least I won't get bored at the back" she winked at me and got into the car.

My smile fell immediately after she couldn't see me. I knew exactly what she was implying and usually those kind of things wouldn't bother me since Daniel is her boyfriend, but her statement gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. I shifted in my seat.

"Kerrie are you okay" Nathan's voice cut through my thoughts and found its way to my ears.

I quickly looked up, startled by his question "Yes I'm fine" I answered him.

He nodded his head and started the car. I don't think he believed me one bit, but I was glad he didn't dig any deeper because I didn't think tonight was a good night for me to walk home.

The car was unbelievably quiet, all you could hear was the stereo softly playing a song I couldn't recognise. I didn't like the silence at all, it gave my head a nice conference room for my feelings to go at it, right now guilt was the loudest of them all.

"When are you going to get your results"

"Kerrie"

"Kerrie!" my sister shouted.

"You don't have to scream at me" I defended rubbing my ears. Startled by her tone.

"I wouldn't have to scream if you answered the first time, i called you three times. It's like your not even here, is there something wrong" she asked me gently, her eyes full of worry, her playful side gone.

My eyes immediately met with Daniels' through the rear view mirror and i felt like sinking in my seat. I looked straight at the road and answered "Never been better"

"so " my sister continued

"so" I repeated, not knowing where she was going with this.

"When are you going to get your results for your assignment" she asked .

"Oh that, umm two days I think" I sounded so uncertain but Kate didn't add anything after that. I was going to be the first one to be dropped off and that made me so happy.

Nathan parked the car. I hadn't even noticed I was already home.

"Thank you for coming tonight" I thanked him and as I was about to get out he pulled me back and kissed me on the cheek.

"It was my pleasure" he smiled at me. He let go and I got out of the car and took a deep I desperately needed. He definetly didn't deserve what I did to him, Nathan was too good to me. I didn't deserve him.

It was a bit windy but not enough for it to be cold. I walked over to the front and a horn blasted through my ears. I turned around and saw my sister waving goodbye as the car drove off, Daniel didn't even look at me. Not that it mattered.

I found my apartment and got in flopping onto my couch. Throughout all the events of the day, I didn't realise I was so tired.

I lazily removed my heels and rubbed my feet,

I walked tiredly all the way to my room and changed out of my dress. I decided to wear my blue silk pyjamas that I recently bought for myself. My room was still a mess and I was too lazy to clean it up so I just pushed all the clothes on my bed onto the floor.

I got into bed and covered my head with my blanket, maybe it would protect me from the outside world. Why would I have let things get so complicated.

What am I going to do?

My hand involuntarily went up to my lips. I couldn't get him out of my head. I tried so hard to not think about what I could possibly feel for Daniel. I tried so hard to not make his looks, his stares affect me. But he just couldn't stop being so cute.

And what about Nathan, he has been the greatest boyfriend. He helped me get over Zach, and yet I did this. What the hell is wrong with me. It's not that I don't love Nathan anymore, I loved him in the beginning and I don't think I stopped loving him. Maybe I just care for him and it was never really love.

Who am I kidding, I'm just trying to justify what I did, there's nothing that can justify what I did. But no matter how guilty I felt, I didn't regret kissing him back, i hid my face in my pillow to stop myself from smiling.

I'm such a bad person.

I looked at the time and it was already two in the morning. Had I been so lost in my thoughts. So much time had past by and I still hadn't made up my mind on my next move.

A loud knock rung through my ears and i quickly stood up.

Who could be at my house at two in the morning. I slowly walked out of my room as the knocks got louder. I looked around for something to defend myself with, I finally found a pan.  I don't have a lot of stuff around here.

I walked over to the door "Who is it" I called out through the door but I got nothing, just another knock.

If whoever wass behind the door didn't want to identify themselves then I'd identify them with my pan. I quickly opened the door and was ready to bash the person's head until my eyes met his and i froze.

"Daniel"

***********

A/N

"We've come so far my dear, look how we've grown"

-does anyone recognize the lyric, if you do then tell me!!!! I mean I know which song it is , just want to know if you know it, does it ring a bell

Have a good festive season everyone😘

-Monalisi