Faking It || l.r.h

30. Over

*Avery's POV*

I know Luke and I's plan is coming to an end soon so I figured if I started distancing myself now it won't be so hard to forget about him. It's so obvious that him and Brooke are supposed to be together 'cause they make each other happy. I didn't mean for him to assume that he did something wrong or that anything is his fault but it's the only way for me to get over him. I know I'm constantly changing sides wether I should embrace what I feel or suppress my feelings but I've made up my mind now. Having hope that he may feel the same about me isn't doing me any good.

It's so weird how all of this happened. We wouldn't even be friends if he hadn't messed up with Brooke. He says he cares about me and all and I believe him but he doesn't care about me the way I care about him. He cares about Brooke way more, hell, he probably loves her. There's no point in hoping anymore. It's best that I give up now and focus on Ashton.

I finished making dinner and went to make sure everything was set up for my dad since he'd be home any minute. Maybe I can sort of get back in his good graces if I butter him up a bit. There's no reason for me to be distracted now.

My heart began to beat faster when I heard the garage door come up. After the weekend I had had, I just wanted things to go smoothly from now on, well as smooth as they'll ever be.

The door opened and closed and I heard him on the phone. I didn't know who it was but he sounded a bit angry and it wasn't long before he hung up and slammed his phone down.

I mentally prepared myself before I walked back into the kitchen. "H-hey, dad."

He looked at me. "What do you want?"

"Nothing. I was just saying hi." I don't understand why I was born if everything I do is wrong. "Who was on the phone?"

"That's none of your business. Where's my dinner?" He snapped.

I went to quickly make him a plate and met him back in the living room with his food and beer. After I sat them down he shooed me away and I went to the kitchen to enjoy my own meal.

I can't wait till I get out of this hellhole. I want to go far away so I'll never have to see him again. The most he does for me is provide me with a roof over my head. He doesn't show me any love or care. The only thing he loves is his money and beer. He lives to get drunk and refuses to get help. I understand he lost someone he loves but he let that change him.

I love Luke but I haven't let him change me, nor will I change when I stop loving him. But something like that is easier said than done. I want to, no, I need to stop loving him but it's so hard because he's incredibly special. This is just like me to care about someone so much but they don't give two shits about me. I'm always the idiot to fall in love. Maybe I'm in love with the idea of being in love. That could explain why I get so attached to any guy that catches my eye.

But I've never loved anyone the way that I love Luke. I like Ashton a lot but I don't love him. I liked Evan a lot too but again, I wasn't in love with him. It's just something about Luke. It's like we have this connection that only I feel apparently. But I feel something every time we touch or kiss. I feel chills and fire all at once. It's an amazing feeling and only he makes me feel this way. But it's wrong of me to feel like this about him. He doesn't feel the same and no matter how many times I tell myself this, it doesn't change how I feel. He cares for Brooke and since we're kind of friends, it'd be wrong for me to have feelings for her guy, although I have kissed Ashton a few times, but that's beside the point. I can't keep wasting my time on him. That's why I feel distancing myself will do me some good. I just hope it doesn't mess up our friendship.

-

I had barely slept all night and was not in the mood for school but I didn't want to miss anymore days so I sucked it up and got up to get ready.