(CHAPTER SEVENTEEN)

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SEVENTEEN

( memorial )

     SHANE WAS FILLED with guilt

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SHANE WAS FILLED with guilt. His face as pale as a lily, he locked himself in the bathroom and gripped the sink tightly. He stared at the glass in front of him, reflecting his image; his guilt; his sins.

He was a monster. Yet, he would not take anything he had done back. He enjoyed screwing his best friends wife, the thrill of which the feeling of his skin pressed against hers gave him, he liked it; no he loved it. He knew it was wrong, but he could not mute his burning desire for the woman. He loved her.

He loved her so much, that he murdered a man to save her son; Carl. He liked to believe, that the good part of him did it for his friend, Rick. But, the overpowering side of him packed with his love for the boys mother, knew he did it for her; for Lori. He'd move mountains for the woman, he'd killed Otis to make her happy. He'd do it again.

He wasn't going to take it hands down anymore. He needed to make Lori understand that he loved her, and that she loved him. Rick, she loved him, he was the farther of their child, the babe that had grown within her belly acting as a brick to cement them together. But, Shane, he was sure that she loved him more; in some twisted way, surely she did.

Why else would they have made love so passionately in the woods?

And as Shane shaved of his long, raven curls, he somehow got it burrowed deep within his mind that; if Rick was gone, Lori would be his to love.

❦ ❦ ❦

THE GROUP ARRIVED at the farm in the early morning. Now that Carl was going to live, the Grimes family were less on edge and able to help out in the search for both Ophelia and Sophia.

But, first, both the Greene family and the group stood around a pile of rocks ; honouring Otis's memory, and saying goodbye. After he had died gathering medical supplies to aid Carl's recovery, with Shane, Hershelf, Beth, Maggie, Jim, and Patricia had insisted on a funeral.

"Blessed be God, father of our lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis, for his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child's, now more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in Grace." Hershel, the oldest Greene had softly said. He'd been the one to save Carl, the one who owned the farm.

Patricia, the loving wife of Otis, wiped away a stray tear and asked Shane, "Shane, will you speak for Otis?"

Shane, filled with guilt, gulped. "I'm not good at it. I'm sorry."

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