Say Something || Punk H.S. AU

IX.

Christina's POV

I cant believe Harry wouldn't tell me about Amber. So when Louis told me, it was something completely unexpected. The little boy (whose name I'm not sure of)..- I cant remember - isn't doing much better than Amber herself.

I know that Harry has feelings for her and no matter how hard I tried I could never be her. I notice the way he looks at her when she smiles or when she laughs. I notice the way he talks about her, and the way his eyes sparkle when someone mentions her name.

He doesn't even blink when someone says mine.

Jealousy?

Was I jealous of Amber?

Of course not.

Okay, Of course I was.

She was stunning, even though she didn't know it. It's like she walked around, normal like the rest of us as if she didn't know how extraordinary she looked.

I have spent constant hours on trying to be her. Trying to master her look and her personality. But no matter, how hard I try I cant.

I cant seem to be as perfect as her.

I cant seem to be what Harry wants.

Harry is the one who taught me how to love, to cherish life. He loved me for me. And I loved him for him. Everything about him. The way his smile is slightly crooked. The way his stomach juts out a bit even though he has abs. The way that one of his dimples is more prominent than the other.

Having no parent and being a orphan I was taught by my House Mother that no one will ever love me. She told me I would amount to nothing. She told such things so much, I began to believe it. Growing up and moving out of that place was the best day of my life. Meeting Harry almost ties.

He is my rock, my world, my everything.

But am I in second place?

He said he has never done anything with her and she definitely doesn't have feelings for him and I have no choice but to try and trust him.

I cant help but wish death upon Amber. That small piece of me wishing that she wont wake up from her coma. I know I shouldn't but I cant help it. Maybe if she was out of the picture then Harry would be able to love me as much as I love him.

I remember the one time I asked Harry who he loved and he told me that he only truly loves his mum, Amber, and I. And I said what about the boys? And he only answered with that is different.

I know that Amber knows my own boyfriend more than I do. He wont even tell me how they ended up living together or how they met. He only says that she saved him. How could she possibly save him and from what?

I feel as if I'm in this relationship by myself.

Why wont I ever be good enough for you Harry?

~*~

Harry's POV

I sigh as my body dips into the steamy clear water of the tub. When I was stressed Amber would always run me a bath and use shit like soap bombs and claimed they worked. I would always tell her they were shit even though secretly I enjoyed them.

I wonder what Amber is dreaming about at the moment. Even though she is almost in a permanent sleep, she does dream. I wonder what she is thinking. 

Is she dreaming about me?

I grab the wash cloth, folding it and placing it on top of my forehead.

It is still raining heavily outside and I know I wont be able to get home for another a day or so. I hoping that I can be out of here within a few hours but as the rain pours down harder I know I wont be going anywhere anytime soon. 

What am I going to do?

Why am I feeling like this?

Amber is only my friend.

But she has done everything possible for me. She was the only one I could turn to when I had no one. She was my savior and I couldn't even save her.

After the bath water is drained I take a quick shower to rinse off. I grab a green t-shirt and throw it over my head and pull on a pair of gray sweats, sliding a beanie over my unruly curls.

I take the note off the television that read: "Zayn & I went somewhere, We will be right back, with some stuff. Stay smiling! :) - Lou"

"Faggots" I quietly laugh to myself

Where the hell could they have gone? Just as I pull out my phone to call them, there is a knock at the door and as I walk to the door opening it, my eyes widen, this was definitely not who I was expecting.

A/N 

Sorry for shortness! :( I'm really trying just a bit of writer's block! .x I hope you liked it! Who at that door though? Mhh?

Vote/Comment/Fan/Share .x