Chapter 5

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April 2013

"You should call your parents and tell them Haz." Louis exclaimed excitedly.

Little did he know I hadn't talked to them since the funeral.

**

January 2011

It was a dreary late January morning that I buried the love of my life. I couldn't bring myself to step foot into the church, not after God has turned his back on me. I did however make sure the only flower present was the Cherokee Rose. I could hear my stepfather conduct the eulogy and lead the church in prayer as I drank another bottle of water trying to wash the hangover away.

Liam and I went out last night while my mom and Gemma we handling Carolina's possessions. They didn't want me to have to deal with it.

But shouldn't that be up to me?

I walked over to my car as the church emptied. Liam, my stepfather, my father and Carolina's father carried her casket to the hearse for transport to the cemetery.

I should be one of the ones carrying her, I should of been the one delivering the eulogy. But I didn't. I was too hurt, my pride was too hurt.

"Harry wait." My mom calls to me before I jump in my car. "I think you should have this." She whispers as she presses a handkerchief into my hand. She kisses my cheek before joining my father in their car.

As I unwrap the handkerchief I'm filled with anger. I wanted her buried with this. It was so wrong to me that she was being buried with a massive scar across her abdomen from childbirth but what was even more wrong was that she wasn't wearing her engagement ring.

I remember that day I gave it to her so clearly, it was the day she told me I was going to be a father.

**

Father's Day 2010

"What?"

"You're going to be a daddy Harry." Carolina coos as my mom and Gemma beam at me.

"But how did-"

"Um Harry, do I really have to explain how babies are made?" My mother chortles as Gemma, Liam and Robin laugh hysterically. 

"Erm, no mother, thank you though." My focus then went to Carolina, I was surprised but not. I mean we were using protection most of the time but there were a few times we didn't. I was honestly surprised that my mother and stepfather were happy, I would of expected some "premarital sex is a sin Harry" shit. But they know how in love we are, that she is my soulmate and I hers.

Well fuck it, I was going to do this soon anyways. I patted her to stand up before dropping down on one knee in front of her.

"I've never loved someone as much as you, and I can't imagine my life without you. We have so many memories together and I want to continue creating memories with you for the rest of our lives. When I'm with you I feel complete and I know that we are truly meant to be so will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?" I stammer nervously before letting out a breath. Carolina's hand covers her mouth as her eyes are wide in shock.

"Yes, of course I'll marry you Harry." Carolina finally squeaks out. She throws herself into my arms as I stand up, we share a long kiss as my family claps. She pulls away and looks up at me, in that moment she was so beautiful. Her large smile, the way her eyes twinkled, the soft glow to her skin. 

She was breathtaking.

I grabbed her hand and slid my grandmother's ring on her finger, it was a perfect fit.

Like it was meant for her.

**

January 2011

I stood far back as I watched them lower my Carolina into the ground. Everyone seemed to avoid me as they left the cemetery, maybe I just gave the aura of "leave me the fuck alone". Suddenly a soft wind picks up and a flower flies through the air to my feet.

After bending down to pick up the blossom tears form in my eyes as I look down at the familiar white and yellow bloom.

Cherokee Rose. Our daughter's name.

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