Neptune. [ Jughead Jones AU]

3.

Unknown:
You'll never guess what I just found out.

Not Fez:
Wrong number. Again. This isn't Fez.

Unknown:
No. I meant to text you.

Not Fez:
Why? I don't know you.

Unknown:
My name is Neptune.

Not Fez:
Sounds like a fake name. Why are you texting me?

Unknown:
Because I'm lonely. My best friend has been missing for months now they think he's dead. I tried texting him but no reply. And I didn't know that because I haven't had a phone. I kinda need someone to talk to.

Not Fez:
I'm so sorry. Are the police looking for him? My name is Jughead.

Neptune:
I'm also a liar. My best friend isn't missing. He's doing homework and I'm bored.

Jughead sounds like a fake name. It's weird.

Jughead:
Wow. What is wrong with you?

Neptune:
I'm lonely. You'll never guess what I found out?

Jughead:
Who lies about a missing dead person?

Neptune;
I do. You'll never guess what I found out?

Jughead:
What?

Neptune:
I'm a psychopath. I've officially been diagnosed.

Jughead:
I don't know if I should believe you.

Neptune:
I'm telling the truth, Jughead.

Jughead:
Like a real psychiatrist diagnosed you?

Neptune:
No. But I took an online test and it said I was 56% psycho.

Jughead:
Goodbye.