K A T A R I N A (•GXG•)

XV.

surprise! surprise! 

K

What the hell were you thinking Katarina? You almost kissed that loser! You almost kissed her... again.

I stopped walking as I entered inside the campus. Ugh!!! I hate this feeling! I hate it when I feel like I have no over-all control of the situation. I hate it when I feel like the situation is the one that's controlling me at the moment. Nakakairita! Ugh! Why did I even drag her to my favorite place here in Bridgett? Why did I even want to talk to her there? Why did I even want to talk to her in the first place?

Fuck Katarina! What the hell is happening to you?!?!?!

I'm okay. I'm damn okay. Katarina, you're okay. You just... it's just the moment. You weren't about to kiss her. You were just about to tease the hell out of her! Yes, that's what you were about to do. Nothing else.

"K!!!" Ugh. That's Prim. I know that's Primrose's voice because it's annoying as hell. Nakalapit na ito ng tuluyan saakin. "Anong ginagawa mo rito? Namiss kita pinsan kong hilaw!" Bigla ay yumakap ito saakin. Bumitaw din naman agad. "Ang lakas ng ulan sa labas. Sana suspended! Gusto ko ng umuwi, inaantok na ako."

I just nodded my head. "Then go home Prim. No one's stopping you."

"Hoy ang init naman ng ulo mo! Meron ka ba?"

Tinitigan ko siya habang nakataas ang isang kilay ko. "What the hell are you talking about, Prim?"

"I'm just asking you kung meron ka... you know... our monthly visitor." I still stared at her questioningly. "Regla, K! May regla ka ba?! Punyeta!"

Kinutusan ko nga siya! Ang ingay niya masyado! Nakakarindi lang!

"Wala ako ngayon. Sadyang ikaw ang kausap ko kaya iritado ako."

Hinawakan nito ang balikat ko. "Wow ha K! Nakakahiya sa'yo ha. Buti nga napagtiyatiyagaan pa kita dyan eh!" I glared at her. Nag- peace sign naman ito. "Syempre joke lang no! Baka mapagtripan din ako ng fans club mo, cous!"

"Kapag hindi ka umalis sa harap ko eh mapagtitripan ka talaga kita mo!" Tinapik naman nito agad ang balikat ko at naglakad na paalis.

"See you later K! Walwal na lang us pag suspended ha! Mwa labyu!"

Napabuntong- hininga ako naglakad patungo ng gym. Lalangoy na lang siguro ako. Pag lumalangoy lang naman ang tanging nagpapakalma sa akin. I remember when I started trying to learn how to swim.

That. It still haunts me up to this day.

It's the reason why I never wanted to be close to people, why I only trust Prim, Gen and Vero and why I'm not ever going to open up to anyone.

That broke me. I feel like I'm never whole again.

Pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko ng gym ay dumiretso ako ng changing room para magpalit ng swimming attire. May mangilan- ngilan na nagsi- swim, napatingin ang mga ito sa direksyon ko ngunit nagbawi rin ng tingin. I don't want anyone looking at me like something is wrong. Minsan talaga ay napaparanoid ako.

Pagkatapos kong magpalit ay dumiretso na ako sa pool. Suddenly the pool seems strange to me. Umupo muna ako sa gilid nito, binasa ang paa ko, bago tuluyang lumubog.

Suddenly the pool seems real strange to me.

"Piringan mo ang mata."