The dirt, The ostrich, and the Lion

2K 132 58
                                    

Direcotr: Shoot!

Orlando: I should have told you from the moment i met you.... i love you

Me: OMG!!! WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SO BEFORE?!?!??!

Orlando: ....uhhh

Director: CUT!!! PEARL YOUR SUPPOSED TO REMAIN SILENT!!!!

Me: How do you expect a girl wh ojust found out that the love of her life loves her back to remain silent?!?!?!?!?!?

Director: stick to the script

Me: I think these lines suck

Orlando: oh boy...

Director: *face getting red*

Me: Who came up with these lines anyway?

Director: *seething*

(Johnny runs in carrying the jar of dirt being chased by an ostrich)

Johnny: AAAAHHHH!

Orlando: *raises his eyebrow

*

Director: *stares* WHO LET THE OSTRICH IN HERE?!?!?!?

Johnny: *running and screaming*

Me: Well it was roaming in the parking lot and i thought it would be rude to not let him in.

Orlando: It's a bird.

Me: You point? It has feeilings.

Orlando: *sigh*

Me: Well you said that trees had feelings.

Orlando: I did what now?!?!?!

Me: You told Gimlii that trees had feelings.

Orlando: THAT WAS THE FREAKEN LINE!!!

Me: Well you said it

Orlando: *stares* i was acting

Me: YOU SAID IT!!! ADMIT YOUR SIN!!!!

Orlando: Uhhhh

Me: *death stare*

Orlando: Director?

Director: *on the floor with an empty bottle of rum in his hand*

Orlando: ....crap...

(Johnny is screaming and running around the set with his dirt)

Johnny: SAVE ME FROM THIS SAVAGE BEAST!!!

Me: IT HAS FEELINGS!!!

Johnny: WELL I HAVE A JAR OF DIRT!!!!

Orlando: *seeing that i am distracted runs out*

5 seconds later

Orlando: *runs back in being chased by a lion*

Orlando: AAAHHHH!!!! WHO LET THE LION IN HERE!??!?!?!?!

Me: ....

Orlando :PEARL!!!!!

Me: Dont hurt him... he is a nice lion.

Orlando: THAN WHY IS HE CHASING ME??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

Me: ... because you are attractive

Orlando: THIS IS A MALE LION!!!!

Me: ....

Orlando: AND NO I DID NOT CHECK!!!! IT HAS A MANE!!!

Me: are you saying that women are hairless?

Orlando: NO!!! FEMLE LIONS DO NOT HAVE A MANE!!!

Me: SEXIST!!!!

Orlando: NO!!! IM NOT!!!! THIS IS SCIENCE!!!!1

Me: You like science?

Orlando: I HAPPEN TO KNOW A  FEW THINGS!!!!

(Johnny runs into a wall, drops the dirt th ostrich jumps on top of Johnny and using it's beak breaks the jar of dirt open)

Johnny: MY DIRT!!! GET AWAY YOU FOUL BEAST!!!!

Me: IT HAS FEELINGS!!!

Johnny: I DON'T CARE!!!!

Me: Orlando, what else do you know?

Orlando: TO RUN AWAY FROM LIONS!!!!

Me: WILL YOU MARRY ME!?!?!?!?

Orlando: IM A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW!!!!

Me: YOU DIDNT SAY NO!!!!!!

Orlando: ....NO!!!!

Me: I still love you!!!

Orlando: THAN STOP THIS DANG LION!!!

Me: He's having fun.

Orlando: I'M NOT!!!!

Me: *watches Orlando run around the set being chased by the lion. Watches Johnny grapple with the Ostrich, opening its beak and gettiing all the dirt out*

If I Ever Acted With Orlando BloomWhere stories live. Discover now