Troubled: A Demi Lovato FanFic

Out

I woke up the next morning, yes how cliché of me to start a chapter with waking up, but considering the night I had yesterday, I think you can forgive me.

I woke up the next morning in Demi's house. It shocked me that I wasn't in juvenile detention. Slowly, the events of the night before came creeping back into my thoughts. My head throbbed and I was nauseated, and with each memory my stomach dropped more.

The police had arrested me. I was brought to a juvenile detention center where I had mug shots taken.

Demi arrived with my parents at the facility and they paid a fine. I was ticketed and allowed to go back to Demi's house.

Apparently Demi had contacted the police after I ran away. That's why I had gotten caught.

Is it bad to say that once again, Demi caused my life to have a major problem in it? Well who really cares, because I'm saying it anyway.

In my state, Demi didn't talk to me. I'm guessing she just put me to bed because that's where I am now.

Sitting in bed, the numbness began to take over.

I fucked up yesterday. There's no way out of this now. I just need to die. I focused my thoughts on how to end my pain, once and for all. I stood up, but I didn't feel like myself.

I felt empty, like I was floating. I felt non-existent. I could feel a panic attack coming on so I stumbled into the bathroom.

Before I could lock the door, Demi flung it open.

"How are you feeling?"

I blinked at her.

She took my hand and lead me down to the couch. She handed me a few pills and I took them.

"What do you remember from yesterday?"

I didn't feel like talking. I don't think I could formulate words if I tried.

"Do you want me to tell you what happened?"

I don't really. I just want to die, knowing nothing. It's over.

"After you ran away I called the police. I was so worried for you. I love you Cece. I got a call later saying they found you. That they found you intoxicated."

A tear fell from her eye.

Should I feel bad? Because I feel absolutely nothing.

"When I got to where they were holding you with mom and dad they showed us your backpack."

She could barely speak through her tears.

"Cece how long has this been going on? Why?"

I ignored her.

"Cece I'm not mad at you. I know how you feel. I know exactly what it's like. I love you so much. But this isn't what I want around my kids... I wish you had told me... Or told our parents... They know about the cigarettes and your eating disorder now... I'm so so sorry Cece. But I can't have you stay here."

She was sobbing hysterically.

"I'm going to miss you. But you need to work on yourself now. Mom and dad are going to get you help. Please promise me that you will try to get better."

I can't do that.

"Look mom and dad are here to bring you home now. I love you and never forget that."

She tried to hug me. I don't know what came over me but I punched her in the stomach.

Everything was spinning and when I came down from my insanity I felt awful.

I vomited on the floor in horror at myself.

I don't think I can put it into words how awful I felt. I don't think you'll understand unless you've been there.

I ran upstairs and packed my suit case.

I went in the bathroom and slashed at my wrists.

I didn't bother washing them or covering them.

I was wearing black anyway.

On my frantic rush out the door Demi put her hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay."

Even at my fucking lowest point she couldn't even get mad.

One look into her eyes and I burst into tears.

She hugged me and I held onto her, like I was holding onto my life.

Which I was in a sense.

She put my suitcase in the car for me.

I got in the back seat.

Eddie and Dianna looked broken.

Why did I not call them my parents?

Because there's no doubt they don't want me now.

Who the fuck would?

I think I cried the whole way home.

When we we finally arrived I ran inside and collapsed on my bed.

Dianna came in. She rubbed my back.

"Sweetie... please... calm down."

I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted to get away so I could kill myself.

"Please go away mom."

She walked out of my room looking devastated.

It wasn't long before she came back.

"We've been thinking. I've been talking to Demi. She thinks it would be best for you to go to treatment. So we have a plane ticket for you. You leave in 2 days."

I wasn't worried because there was no way I was going to treatment.

After all, they still hadn't found my blades.