Troubled: A Demi Lovato FanFic

Simple Things

Waking up in the middle of the night was something that I had become used to. Tonight was no exception, except for the fact that I hadn't had a nightmare, and I was thankful for that. When I say nightmare, I mean the kind that leaves you gasping for air, disoriented, and shaking. If dreams are the personalized myth, my dreams were certainly my own personal hell. I was sleeping in a hospital chair, Demi was lucky enough to have a bench. Demi and I had practically lived in the hospital for the past month. We had gone days without showering or eating a decent meal- but who am I kidding, if I had it my way I wouldn't eat at all. Anyway, things like hair brushing, makeup and changing clothes were all luxuries here. The hospital provided parent rooms. That might sound nice, but in reality it was just one giant room with a few chairs and fold out couches. One parent was allowed to sleep there a night, but because the PICU was pretty empty I was staying there too. As difficult as it was for Demi and I, I couldn't even imagine how Kenna was surviving. She hadn't been outside in a month. A month... Had it really been that long? I hadn't seen her smile in a month. I hadn't heard her voice in a month. It killed me more each day.

I glanced at my phone hoping for it to be morning. It was the nights that were the worst, when the loneliness and sadness seemed to sink into my heart and sicken me. It was also the times when everybody was sleeping that I needed somebody most. The windows tempted me. We were on the fifth floor. I would surely die if I jumped. How can I break the window? My scattered thoughts terrified me. My brain was filled with graphic images of my body splattered on concrete. That somehow turned into Kenna's body, and then I was more freaked out than before.

"Demi?" I whispered.

"Mm?" She opened one eye.

"Are you sleeping?" I cringed. Stupid question.

"Not well." Who was I kidding? Who can actually get a decent rest in a hospital?

"Can we talk?" I whispered. She stretched and slipped on her flip flops. We made our way into the parent lounge. A couple was standing in the corner holding their paper coffee cups, their cheeks wet with tears. Their faces showed pure exhaustion.

*CODE BLUE ROOM 555, CODE BLUE ROOM 555*

My heart jumped as I listened to the announcement, praying it wasn't Kenna's room and almost falling to the floor when I heard the 5. Code blue was one of the hospitals many emergency codes. This one happened to mean a patient was not breathing. It almost always meant death. My eyes darted across to the parents standing next to me. Their faces fell with the realization that it was their child's room and the woman collapsed into the man's chest, sobbing.

It was scenes like these I witnessed on a daily basis these days. I would never forget these moments. They would continue to replay in my mind forever. I had watched as Kenna's roommate changed every few days, the previous one dying.

Demi hugged me when she caught me watching the couple. At first Demi would try to comfort the other parents, but after so many times it was hard to manage it ourselves. We sat down at a table. "What's up Cece?" Her eyes wore dark circles.

"Nothing." I looked down. It wasn't that I liked lying, or even that I wanted to. That was just my automatic response. I had to say it.

"You asked me to talk, obviously you want to talk about something." She remarked. After a few minutes of silence she finally spoke again. "Baby, please." Her voice softened.

That was all it took, the weeks I had spent trying to seem like I was strong, those were all gone. The tears fell from my eyes and all Demi could do was hug me.

"I-I couldn't trust myself."

"Trust yourself?"

"Demi I just want to die." I cried. "I'm so fucking sad I just want to die."

"I know baby girl." She hugged me again, this time tighter as she rubbed my back. "I'm here."

"I'm so fucking fat. I'm stressed. I can't take this anymore." I cried, gripping onto Demi for my life. What I managed to get out was only a quarter of what I was thinking.

"Get some rest. You'll feel better tomorrow." She pulled me onto her lap.

Eventually morning came. I had fallen asleep in Demi's arms eventually. I had reached a new of pathetic. Demi went down to the cafeteria to get breakfast, and I headed to Kenna's room. She was already awake, the nurses woke her up every 2 hours during the night to check her vital signs anyway. Physical Therapy was there when I walked in, exercising her legs and having her propped up, which I knew she hated. When she sat up I eventually found out that she felt like she was choking to death from the fluid in her lungs.

"Good morning bestie." I hugged her. Her eyes looked sad. I could tell she was in pain.

"Her muscles are pretty tight this morning." The specialist explained. "I'm trying to get her more flexible and stronger to where she is physically able to walk once her brain allows."

McKenna was now crying, which broke my heart. The nurse finally gave in and lowered her onto her back. They decided to finish her physical therapy later.

Finally alone I got under the covers with Kenna. Although there was still a tube in her throat and several wires all over her body, I was getting more used to her in this condition. I held her hand, ignoring the IV. I rubbed my thumb on her hand. Her eyes focused on me as I wiped her tears with my other hand.

"So.. I heard what happened with Wilmer." I brought it up. "I just want you to know it's not your fault. None of this is your fault. And I wish so badly that you could talk to me, ask me questions... but I do know that one day you will be able to again. I love you so much." She blinked at me. But it wasn't the same. I squeezed her hand as I allowed myself to cry. "I miss you."

Kenna closed her eyes and I felt her hand wrap around and squeeze mine.

I almost didn't believe it. This was what we had been working on since she had injured her brainstem. This was her first movement since then. It proved that with her hard work, anything was possible. She could survive.

"Kenna!" She opened her eyes and I swore her mouth dipped into a tiny smile. I laughed, hugging Kenna even tighter. I couldn't wait to tell Demi the news.

The next week was busy. We were making the move to LA, meaning Kenna was to be discharged from the hospital soon to the rehabilitation facility and Kenzie would start on her television show soon. That afternoon Kenzie had a doctors appointment. It was going to be a difficult one but Kenna had proved to me that anything could be accomplished.
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