Troubled: A Demi Lovato FanFic

Chicken

"GIRLS COME HAVE DINNER!" Demi yelled up to us.

I think at this point it's no secret that I don't enjoy eating. I'll spare you the rant I normally give before I eat. I know what you're thinking... "You should be recovered by now." or, "You're eating now so everything's fine right?"

Wrong. But I'll spare you the details of that too.

McKenna sat next to me as usual. Mackenzie sat across from us, next to Demi. She had a pearl necklace on and sunglasses... such the little diva.

Demi put down my plate and I had to muffle the gasp I made when I saw what we were eating.

Chicken.

I ate the side salad and rice without much of a problem. But when I got to the chicken I dropped my fork. The twins and Demi were talking, about what I don't know. I always zone out during meal times.

At this point you're probably wondering what my problem is with chicken. It's not just chicken really. It's any meat. If you're as blessed as I am and you have an eating disorder then you know what I mean. It's a fear food. And no matter how many #fearfoodfriday pictures I look at I can't begin to think about facing it.

"Cece?" McKenna was tapping me.

"Oh sorry. Yeah?"

"Demi's been calling you." I looked across the table to Demi.

"What I was saying is that this trip is a celebration of our family. Especially Cece. I'm so proud of you Cece. You're conquering so much."

"Thanks." I looked down at my plate, feeling my stomach sink.

I took a bite of the chicken and chewed it into a liquid. Out of habit I drank some water. I repeated this multiple times before Demi caught on.

"Kenzie and Kenna you can be excused now. Make sure to finish packing okay?"

"I'm done mommy!" Kenzie exclaimed. "I'll go practice for my concert!" She yelled running up the stairs.

"You do that honey!" Demi laughed. "I want to see that concert later!"

"Mommy I don't wanna be excused." McKenna crossed her arms.

"Sweetie I need to talk to Cece."

"Then talk to her!"

"Alone."

"Why can't I hear!"

"You're just too young."

McKenna stared at Demi, her eyes filling with tears, as they narrowed at Demi.

"I've heard worse."

"Sweetie..."

"You don't even know, Demi!" She spat the last part of the sentence before stomping off.

Demi gasped. "McKenna..." She whispered. "She's never ever done anything like that before..."

I kept quiet. I knew why McKenna was acting the way she was. She was exhausted, she was bullied, she had virtually no confidence. But I promised her I wouldn't tell. And I won't break my promise. She's all I have.

"So... you wanted to talk to me?" I tried to break the awkwardness.

"Oh um yeah. I didn't want to give the twins ideas. But you need to stop chewing so much and drinking in between."

"Oh."

"So go ahead, finish the rest."

"I'm good."

"Cece. There's no option you have to finish it."

"Okay." I couldn't disappoint her now. Not after what she said.

I forced myself to eat but made a deal that I would purge later.

"Cece I'm so proud of you." Demi hugged me. "So I've been thinking. And I think that it's a good time to give you more freedom. You aren't allowed to go to the bathroom alone for 2 hours after a meal still, but I will allow you in your room alone."

"Thanks Demi." I knew that wasn't good. But deep down my demons were very happy.

"And I also want to talk to you a lot more. So we can work through some of your deeper rooted issues."

"Okay."

"Give me a hug baby."

"I'm not a baby Demetria."

"Whatever."

She grabbed me and we hugged. Her hugs were so comforting.

When we were done I went back to my room and paced. To purge or not to purge... that is the question. I laughed at myself.

I sat on my bed and tried to calm myself down with breathing. When that didn't work I felt my fingers crawl towards my throat. I slapped them away and sat on my hands.

I could feel the panic coming but I felt frozen I that position because I knew any movement would cause me to vomit.

I heard stomping up the stairs followed by a door slamming open and a voice.

"Kenzie where's Kenna?"

"I don't know. She left."

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So I made a kik. My user is serenityloves7 . I'm here for anybody who wants to talk so message me on there (: