Separation

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Demi had purchased our plane tickets and we were set to leave for LA the next morning. I was excited to get out of Texas, away from the bad memories. It gave me a chance to start fresh. While I was at Demi's house with our parents, Demi was with Mackenzie at her doctor's appointment. Being at Demi's house was really hard. McKenna's things were still the way they had been left a month ago. Memories of when she was healthy lingered everywhere. When I heard the sound of little feet running up the stairs, I initially pictured McKenna running to tell me she was home. But then I remembered- McKenna could no longer run, or talk, she couldn't even breathe on her own for that matter. The door slammed. Living with Kenzie, this was a frequent occurrence. But considering that Kenzie had been at the doctor earlier, and not just for anything, but to check the physical damage that Wilmer had done, I figured that it wasn't just the typical temper tantrum. I knew firsthand how terrifying that appointment was. In an attempt to comfort her, I put down the suitcase I had been packing and I went into her room. She was hiding under her bed, crying. When she saw me she jumped up and sat on the bed, swinging her legs over the edge.

"What's wrong Kenzie?"

"Demi lied." She looked away from me.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Kenzie never offered me much information.

"Nothing." She pouted at me, probably in an attempt to change the subject. "Wanna play?" She jumped off the bed only to grab her stomach. "My tummy hurts." She curled into a ball on her bed. I went to pat her head but she flinched, massively.

"Shhh, it's okay."

"I just wanna nap." She closed her eyes. I took it as my cue to leave.

She was hiding any sign of emotion from me, she didn't want to talk about it, and she was probably sleeping to avoid dealing with Demi and I. I headed downstairs to talk to Demi about what had happened.

"Hey." Demi hugged me. "That was exhausting."

"Well Kenzie is in her room, really upset. What happened?" I asked, raising my voice because I was angry at Demi for not being more concerned about her daughter. If she thought it was exhausting for herself, how did she think it was for Kenzie?

"I told Kenzie we were just going to get a checkup. I didn't want to freak her out. The hospital offered to have someone explain things to her but I figured it would just scare her more. When we got into the room and it looked different to her she begged me to leave. When the doctor came in and asked her to take her underwear off she lost it. They had to have nurses to hold her down. I tried calming her down but that seemed to upset her more, so the doctor had me step out for a minute- It was only for a minute, and when I came back I was able to hold her hand and comfort her while they made sure things were okay. But the whole way home she ignored me, until she eventually told me to never leave her again." Demi's lip quivered. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"It's okay...What did the doctor say?" It wasn't really okay, this was going to haunt Kenzie for a long time. But I could see that Demi felt guilty enough.

"She has bruising in- many places." Demi said. "It... was pretty rough." I nodded. "The doctor also said that she would have some pain the next few days from the exam."

"She told me her stomach hurt."

"I'm going to go see if I can make her more comfortable. Want to come?" I nodded. As we were walking up the stairs we heard a crash. My heart stopped as I heard Kenzie screaming.

Demi flung the door open, prepared for the worst. Kenzie was lying on the ground rolling around shrieking. She was having a nightmare.

"I thought.. I thought she fell out of the window." Demi whispered, remaining frozen while I rushed to Kenzie.

"Wake up! Wake up! It's a dream. I'm here." I shook her.

"MOMMY?" Kenzie's eyes bolted open. "MOMMY!"

Demi picked Kenzie up and cradled her in her arms. "Baby I'm here. Breathe."

"Mommy please. Don't leave again. Stay here." She clung onto Demi's shirt.

I had never seen Kenzie so vulnerable.

"Baby... I won't. Want to go have some dinner? We have your favorite- lasagna."

"O-Okay mommy. Carry me?" Kenzie was acting more like a baby than a child. I couldn't blame her.

We went downstairs and sat at the table-just the three of us. Our parents had gone to spend the evening with Kenna.

I awkwardly grabbed my fork and picked a piece of lasagna up. I felt as if I had physically forgotten how to eat. Chewing was exhausting, and as I turned each bite into complete pulp I could just feel the calories seeping into my body. Like poison.

I was on piece number three but my body was already rejecting it. I sat back in my chair and looked at Demi.

"I'm done."

"You need to finish it, you know that."

"I'm full." Demi glared at me while I took another bite. She was ruining my perfect body.

"That's it baby girl. I'll let you eat half tonight." Demi smiled encouragingly. Meanwhile, Kenzie was on her second plate. Demi cut my piece in half and set the rest back in the pan. "It's really not that much see?"

I choked the last bit down, physically gagging.

"I'm proud of you." Demi squeezed my hand.

"Are you proud of me?" Kenzie smiled. She was getting back to her old self.

"Of course. I'm so proud of you." Demi played with her hair. "Do you girls want to watch a movie?"

"Yes!" Kenzie bounced up. "I'll pick one out!"

"I'm just gonna go to bed." I looked at Demi.

"Oh no you're not." She knew. "You're staying with me." Kenzie picked a princess movie out and we sat on the couch. I was uncomfortably full and my stomach was aching. I was just waiting for the right moment to get up and sneak into the bathroom. "Get comfy Cece. You're not going anywhere." We sat in silence for awhile before I couldn't take it any longer. I was crawling out of my skin. I pulled at the fat on my thigh and watched it jiggle. I pulled harder, wishing I could just slice it all off.

"Demi?" My voice surprised me. My eyes watered.

"Kenzie we'll be right back." Demi brought me into her bedroom.

"I know how you're feeling right now. I know how much it hurts. But remember how much easier it had gotten? Think of that." We went back into the living room. Kenzie was rocking back and forth on the couch, biting her nails.

"Mommy! You can't leave! I thought you were gone!" She frowned.

"I was just in the other room."

"You can't leave at all." Demi sat down and Kenzie clung to her arm. This was going to be a new challenge.... I put my head in Demi's lap and stretched my legs across the couch. Demi held my hand. I took deep breaths until I fell asleep.
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Troubled: A Demi Lovato FanFicWo Geschichten leben. Entdecke jetzt