Gentleman (Jonathan Toews)

Do You Believe in Fate?

Jonathan

As the season goes on I start to get tired, but that's the beauty of hockey. It's a constant moving process and it gets tiring fast but it's always exciting. You can rest when it's over, it's as simple as that.

I roll over in bed early a March morning. The wakes of spring right around the corner as the sun shines into the high up apartment.

My eyes finally open to see Payton laying there smiling up at me. She scoots closer and I wrapped my arms around her. I kiss her nose and it scrunches up, I love when she did that. She rests her forehead on mine and my eye flutter close.

"Do I have to get up" I mumble.

"Not for a while. I, however, need to get up" she claims.

"You can't" I insist.

"Why not" she giggles.

"We're cuddling, you can't leave me" I defend.

"You can come with, I'm just going to the spare to look at some pictures" she insists.

"Okay" agree easily.

She gets up and puts some more clothes on much to my dismay. I follow suit and we head to the spare room. I sit on the couch and she sits down next to me. I pull her into my lap as she pulls the laptop into hers.

I watch as she looks through pictures from the game the night before. She picks out a few she really liked and touched them up before sending them off. She then opens a folder labeled "Payton and Jonny" and I raise a eyebrow.

"Is that just a bunch of pictures of us" I ask.

"Yup. Over a thousand of them" she says.

"Really" I ask.

"Yeah, we're quite photogenic if I do say so myself" she smiles.

"What are you doing with them" I ask.

"I'm making another mural. I've started it but it's not done yet" she admits.

"Can I see it" I ask.

"Sure" she shrugs. She pulls it up and about the bottom third is done. I'm not sure what it's supposed to be but it looked awesome.

"Is this what you do instead of working" I tease.

"Maybe" she smirks.

"What is it going to be" I wonder.

"It's a secret" she whispers.

"You can't keep a secret from me" I insist.

"I can if it's a good one" she claims.

"Well it must pretty great" I claim.

"It isn't yet, but it will be" she claims.

"Do you ever say anything negative" I ask.

"Why would I do that" she asks.

"Because it's human nature" I admit.

"But no two humans are alike. Therefore my human nature isn't like yours.

I remember sitting in psychology class my senior year. We were talking about the guy who first started defining human nature, and it was the usual arguments about conscious and innate behavior and all the good stuff. But then there was something that stuck out to me. Something that all theorists can agree on.

It's every humans want to be happy. You know, some people want a nice house or someone to love or success, but everyone wants to be happy. And I really wanted to be happy.

So I decided I would be. Sure, a lot of the time it's the kind of fake happiness that nauseates people. You know, not caring what people think or say. Not letting anything affect me one way or another. But I can't think of a good enough reason I should let anything upset me. I mean there's so many things I don't agree with, I get upset that we donate so much for cancer research and people are still dying and other things. I hate that people see guys like you and just assume things, like getting to where you are was easy or something. But if I let those things affect me those problems become mine and I have enough of my own. I worked so hard to have a positive mind and positive life, I can't let that change.

And I'm not always happy. Deep down I'm still hurting. I'm still missing him and I wish things could be different. But then I look around at where I am and I remember that everything happens for a reason. That God let me be here with you and that means I have to be doing something right" she explains.

"Do you believe in fate" I ask.

"I believe in science. But I do believe everything happens for a reason, and that fate has a way of making some things work and some things not" she shrugs.

"So do you believe that we were meant to be together" I ask and she pauses. She looks down at me before growing a smile taking away and doubt I had about her being here.

"I do. To go from as low as I was to as high as I am, it's incredible. I don't have time to be sad because I'm constantly trying to make sure you're happy and I had something to do with the reason why you are" she replies while softly caressing my face.

"You do make me happy. Nothing makes me happier than you. And I wish I knew how to explain it to you but I can't. I'm not in touch with myself or my emotions like you are. I just know that I'm happy and you're the reason why" I explain.

"And that's why I love you" she claims before kissing me. I think she's about to pull away but she comes right back like always.

"I love you so much" I say as our lips part again.

"So what do you want to do now" she asks.

"I say we find the biggest carton of ice cream and watch as many Disney movies before the game tonight" I suggest.

"Wow... it's like you read me mind" she smiles. I move a piece of hair from her face as she leans into my touch.

"Race you down there" I say and she perks up. She tosses her laptop to the side and starts out the door. I chase after her and we both reach the bottom of the stairs at the same time.

"I win" I claim.

"Says who" she pouts.

"Me" I claim and she crosses her arms over her chest and sticks out her bottom lip. "Oh come on... that's not fair" I defend. She does a fake sniffle and I let out a groan. "Fine! You win" I sigh and she jumps in my arms.

"Take me to the couch" she demands.

"Why? Your feet work just fine" I insist.

"Pleeeease" she begs.

"How old are you" I ask.

"I'm almost 23" she states matter of factly.

"You're lucky you're cute" I threaten as I carry her over to the couch. I plop her down and she looks up at me pretty proud of herself. "So lucky" I chuckle shaking my head.