Double D's

sniffle-syndrome

God, what is that sound?!?! It sounds like a dying cat...

Better yet, it is your heartbroken friend. Who has once again broken up with her manwhore of a boyfriend.

As much you love your best friend, her sobbing makes your ears bleed. Literally!

She doesn't do the sweet sniffle cry, instead she's a dam that floods for days straight. Don't forget all the snot...

HOW TO APPROACH THE GREAT FLOOD:

I sCREAM:

As difficult as it may be to source ice-cream and chocolate during school, plan a day where you can speak to her about what's making her sad. Or why she was crying. For the time being, grab a tissue and do what you do best; no, not sleep. Make her laugh. Or at least smile. Just don't bring clowns into IT.

reasonsforsaddnessday:

If you do end up going through with it, organise sad movies! Don't be embarrassed to cry in front of your friend. Let her know she can trust you and that you're there for her and that you care. She'll talk to you when she's comfortable and ready. Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Again, just make her happy. She'll at least temporarily forget about what's going on.

Triple Red Threat:

RED WIG.
RED NOSE.
RED BALLOON.

It's finally your moment to shine, your forte. And if it's not then, Google is your friend, or just contact the Double D's writers. Pathetic lame jokes (especially puns) are guaranteed to make anyone laugh in almost any situation. You're famous for your funny videos, memes, GIFs and pictures. Time to put your talent for humour to good use.

Woof:

If all else fails, get puppies. They're known to have a pretty unique talent for makings you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Just. Find. Puppies. Puppies make everyone happy. All the time. Always. Don't argue. Just do it. Or, I guess if you're a cat person then that works too, but they will scratch :( Another thing also falls under this category, rabid animals. Just attack her ex with a foaming friend :)

Slap Bet:

Confusion beats sadness. If you can't cheer her up, confuse her. Slap her. She'll be so confused as to why you're slapping her, she'll forget about her sadness. Or at least give it less attention. If you're particularly mean, go for the cheek. Maybe it'll become so red it'll look she's been drinking. Ah! Perfect. More confusion.

Lemons Don't Grow On Trees:

You know that saying about lemons? Well it's time to male some lemonade! After all is said and done, make sure your efforts are compensated accordingly. Good counselling is hard to find these days and she's lucky to get it straight from you everyday. Start charging her for her never ending counselling sessions. Do. Not. Be. Hoodwinked.

◼⬛◼

REMEMBER: Crying people are gross but you can't let them suffer alone because one day that'll be you!