Double D's

depress-the-dress

You've found it!

The perfect top and pants combo. Or maybe it's the perfect dress. Whatever item of clothing you've found, it was perfect.

However, no matter how perfect it was, you still needed to make sure it looked fabulous on you before you buy it!

ENTER: The fitting rooms and all of its awkward glory!

Not only is there already a line, but the lady in front of you just. Won't. Stop. Talking. So now, not only do you have to wait, you have to socialize with strangers as well!

HOW TO SURVIVE THE DRESSING ROOM TRIALS:

The Old Phone Trick:

A lot of people say that phones are the root of many of today's problems. This is a debate that can go on and on forever. But that is neither here, nor there. Whether it is the root of all things evil or simply a device made to help us in our day-to-day lives, for this moment, it is your saving grace. Not only does it outwardly portray that you're unavailable for social interactions, it dissuades anyone from trying to approach you. And hey, you can do whatever you want on your phone while you're at it.

Stranger Danger:

"Hey, friend! It's been forever since I last saw you!" you greet a total stranger that had been heading in the general direction of your line and profusely mentally hoping they would play along. Maybe if you pretend to see someone you know, chatty lady will leave you out of her interactions. The things this move risk, however, is the stranger would totally be weirded out by your greeting and would just ignore you, prompting chatty lady to engage you in a conversation, or stranger goes along with you and turns out to be a total weirdo.

This method actually has only a .5% chance of succeeding and we the writers of Double D's really don't condone this. But if you do end up using this, maybe it'll be within that .5% and you'll end up making a friend! However, if you do see someone you know, there's no harm in calling them over to suffer with you in the fitting room line.

The Ridiculous Scale:

Have you ever met someone who tells the most outrageous stories that you just know can't be true because it was just down-right ridiculous? What do we do with those types of people?

We ignore them.

So, with this in mind, come up with the most unbelievable story ever, and when chatty lady lets you talk, let it all out. You'll most likely look like a total liar after this, but at least everyone will ignore you and you can go back to waiting in peace.

Clint Barton's Hearing Aids:

Ever seen thay post that said, "Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English" ?

Well, just take away the if we get caught and use the rest of the concept, you have an easy way out! Of course, lying about a disability is never a good thing, but desperate times calls for desperate measures; so polish up on your sign language or just a secondary language you swear you'll learn someday but never get around to actually studying it.

Timing is Everything:

This is probably the easiest route you could take. Do you want to stay in line with the chatty lady and risk more uncomfortable or awkward interactions? Or do you leave the line, window shop some, possibly find another cute outfit and risk your time instead? Choices, choices but I think we know what it'll be.

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