I Am Not Your Master; I Am Your Partner: A (Neko) Dan and (Human) Phil Series

Next To You

Surprisingly, there were no awkward silences. Phil did everything that he could to make the Neko boy feel at ease. He made eye contact when he spoke, used a low and calming tone, and respected personal space by avoiding unnecessary touches.  Though he did not know the details, Phil was certain that the broken boy had endured unspeakable acts of violence and aggression. He expected less trust and more fear. There was something very unusual about the way that the boy responded to him. Perhaps the young Neko trusted him more than he realized, though he couldn't imagine why. Was Dan this responsive with everyone who showed him kindness? Had anyone ever shown him kindness? Phil didn't know.

Dan couldn't fully explain the inherent fondness he felt toward the beautiful man in the chair beside him. He saved his life, to be sure, though it was much more than that. The moment that Dan looked into those blue-green orbs of light, he knew that he could trust him, but why? There was the initial hesitation, of course, following a harrowing 12-hour ordeal that left him feeling desperate and broken. Yet something about the man's eyes told him that he was safe.

Having seldom received kindness and grace, Dan wondered if the man was this kind to everyone, or just to him. Dan didn't know.

One thing was certain, and that was that Dan appreciated every gesture, every spoken word, and each use of his actual name. There was something familiar about the man, but it didn't make sense. Dan had interacted with so few human men in his life. So who did he see in the man called Phil? Was it himself?

Dan was drawn to the man's profile. He studied him carefully as he drove. His beautiful black hair framed his face, occasionally brushing the tops of his fine cheekbones. He had a prominent nose, full lips, and flawless skin. When he smiled, it came from his eyes. Dan would immediately look away when Phil caught his eye. As soon as he would return his full attention to the road ahead, Dan would slowly turn to admire him once more.

It seemed to Phil, that every time he turned to look at the Neko boy beside him, he was looking out the window and avoiding his gaze. Phil expected him to be shy and speculative, so he did not take it personally. The truth was that Phil found the boy to be so incredibly beautiful despite his poor condition. He had to keep himself from staring. He certainly didn't want to make the boy feel more uncomfortable than he already was.

After Dan's bath and first full meal of chicken and rice, Phil asked if he could help him clean and bandage his wounds. Dan nodded and winced as he thought about all of the various markings, cuts, bites, and abrasions that covered his body. Phil resisted the urge to comfort the boy with a tender hug. He was not an overly affectionate person, and he was truly caught off guard by his sudden compulsion to hold this stranger. What was happening to him?

Dan was clean now, and new wounds were visible. He sat on the bathroom counter at Phil's urging, and looked up. Their eyes met, and neither of them could look away. Phil noticed that Dan's eyes were the color of Earth - warm and rich with beautiful bursts of amber-colored rays. They were so incredibly round and soft. They seemed to say 'please,' though Phil could not decide what they were asking.

Phil's eyes were even more stunning than Dan first realized. They reminded him of the sea - beautiful and full of life. He worked to commit the soothing spectrum of colors to his memory. He wanted to return to this peaceful place later, in his sleep. What was the feeling in his tummy? It wasn't a bad feeling, just new.

Phil took his time with Dan, starting with the tiny cuts on his forehead. Dan sat and allowed the man to care for him. He no longer felt any pain - only love and appreciation. He could hear his heart beating loudly in his ears, and the occasional muttering from Phil, warning him that "this might burn a little." It felt strange to be treated in this way. No one had ever asked his permission to touch, nor had Dan ever thought to require it.