I Am Not Your Master; I Am Your Partner: A (Neko) Dan and (Human) Phil Series

His Arms

Phil lay against the back of the sofa bed, Dan lay inside of him, and baby Noah lay on Dan's chest. The family looked like dominoes resting against one another.

They had fallen asleep this way, though they had not planned on it. The couple had been admiring their sleeping baby and drifted off in comfort and contentment.

The room was dark on Caroline's side of the curtain. Phil had peeked in on her an hour earlier; she was sleeping soundly, probably for the first time in months.

But for the amber glow of a table lamp, Dan and Phil's side of the curtain was dark as well. The lamp had settings, and it could be made brighter or dimmer depending on the need. It was almost 2:00 am when the baby started to squirm and mouth at Dan's chest.

Dan's eyes fluttered open and he smiled to see the sleepy infant searching for food. He found his fingers by accident. Dan giggled.

Phil, who was a light sleeper under ordinary circumstances, felt the air hit his chest as Dan's warm body pulled up and off of his own. "Dan?"

"Sorry Phil." Dan whispered. "He's hungry."

Phil grinned sleepily. "Here Baby, let me make him a bottle." Phil reached for the pouch of mother's milk in the mini fridge and placed in the warmer. He had already prepared three small nursers before settling on the sofa. "Is he wet too?"

Dan started to unwrap the flannel to check his nappy. The hospital staff had been changing him up until 9:00 pm when Noah was delivered to their room. "Yep, he needs a clean one." Dan giggled. It would be their first diaper change.

Phil giggled too. He reached down in their duffel for a clean cloth nappy and some wipes. Dan lay the baby out in front of him, between his long legs.

It probably wasn't completely necessary to whisper, as Caroline was sleeping so deeply that she was actually snoring.

Phil massaged the pouch of milk and dropped it back into the warmer. He watched over Dan's shoulder as he continued to unwrap the baby.

"Oh my God Phil!" Dan covered his mouth so as not to squeal too loudly. "Look at his little feet!" Noah stretched his legs, flexing and curling his tiny toes into the air. Dan could feel Phil smiling into his shoulder.

Dan's hands seemed even larger next to the tiny Neko. He carefully worked the little white leggings from his bottom. The disposable diaper was clumsy and entirely too large, even at the smallest size. He ripped open the velcro tabs and peeled it away from the squirming infant.

"Phil! His little tail!" Dan held it in his open palm. He had remembered correctly, it was about four inches long and sparsely covered with dark fur. It would be at least another week before it filled in. Dan had never seen anything so delicate and precious.

Phil nuzzled Dan and hummed against him. "This is what you looked like as a baby Sweetheart." Phil smiled fondly. It hurt him that there were no photographs of Dan as a baby or child before age 16. His first photo was taken for the trade database.

"I guess so, yeah." Dan never really thought about it. Was his tail really this small once? He warmed a wipe in his palm and cleaned Noah before patting him dry. He marveled at his little body; everything was so unbelievably tiny.

Phil unfolded the clean nappy and passed it to his husband. Dan thanked him and lifted the baby's legs by the ankles. He slipped the soft nappy under his bottom and carefully thread his tiny tail through the opening. He snapped it in the front and scrunched his little leggings back up over his thighs.

Dan lifted him and rotated him in the air so that he could see the Neko's little whip of a tail hanging freely out the backside. It was so adorable, Dan thought he may well explode. Phil covered his mouth and shrieked softly.

"Okay Daddy." Dan tucked the warm flannel around the baby and turned to Phil. "Your turn to feed him."

Phil smiled broadly. It was his turn to feed their son. He was excited but nervous. Dan was with him, so he knew that everything would be fine. Phil held Noah close to his chest. He inhaled the soft scent of his skin and closed his eyes; he vowed never to forget his precious scent.

Dan poured the milk into the small nurser bottle. He secured the nipple tightly and shook it gently. He let the milk settle before handing it to Phil.

"Just let him lead Daddy." Dan smiled sweetly. "I will clean him up." Dan waved the soft cloth for him to see. "You're going to do great."

Phil smiled and winked as he brought the nipple to Noah's puckered little lips. He had not cried, but only made soft whimpering sounds in search of food. He latched on instantly and began to drink.

Phil's shoulders relaxed. Dan admired them, father and son. It occurred to Dan that their son may never actually know the depth of their love and devotion - both for him and for each other.

Phil bit his lip as he fed Noah. He could feel his eager tongue lapping and his jaws gnashing. He was certainly a good eater. Dan swooped in to catch the stream of milk that spilled from the corner of his little mouth.

Phil thought about how lucky he was to be doing this with Dan. He couldn't imagine anyone else by his side. He couldn't imagine parenthood at all without Dan.

There was a time in which his life only revolved around his own desires. Some would look back wistfully and call it the best time of their life. Phil would refer to it as his loneliest time.

He didn't feel that his life had much meaning until he found Dan. He fell in love with the Neko boy, and everything made sense. He probably always knew that the beautiful boy shared his feelings, though it took every ounce of strength and willpower to refrain from seeking confirmation. He refused to pressure the sweet boy. Learning that Dan was also in love with him was the beginning of the most beautiful relationship he had ever known.

Dan looked back on his childhood with regret and vowed, together with Phil, to give their son a childhood that he would look back upon fondly. There would be stability and support, laughter and lightheartedness,  education and exploration. Creativity and imagination would be encouraged, and questions would be answered honestly.  Noah would not live in fear of his own body or a future prescribed to him by society.

Dan's eyes filled with new, hot tears. His capacity for love was even greater than he believed. He loved Phil with his body, his mind, his heart, and his soul. He would give his life for his husband. And now here was another human who held his love, the baby Neko softened in his papa's arms. He relied on him for food and comfort. The infant had no idea how lucky he was to be in Phil's care, to be in his arms.

Two ounces were gone in no time at all. The nipple slipped from his mouth, and the baby blinked, looking up at his dads. Phil felt Dan's fingers on his face, wiping away the tears that he didn't realize had fallen.

Phil kissed his fingertips. "I love you Dan." He spoke softly against them.

Dan closed his eyes and memorized the feeling of Phil's lips against him. He knew that the vibration of his best friend, husband, and lover were forever embedded in his soul. He would always recognize him, no matter what form he took. He trusted Phil to do the same.

"I love you too Phil." Dan slid his hand down to hold his chin.

Phil smiled.

He loved the Neko boy, and the Neko boy loved him back.

                       * * *

This is the end of Book One in this series. Please consider following me if you would like to receive notifications for Book Two coming in January 2018.

Thank you for all of the support and encouragement!
❤️ SpringHaze