Dear Taehyung, (MxM)

7: Twin Brother

"I can't take you anywhere,"

Peter groans as an angry expression splashes across his face while the waitress giggles and leaves the check with her phone number attached to the back.

My brother eyes me with the exact same face as mine reflecting back at me. He was older by twelve minutes, he with the amount of stress he's been under, he looked like he was at least twelve years older than me.

I run my thumb across my lip and seductively eye a girl at the counter. She instantly blushes in return and my thoughts start to wander off to the adorable Mika in the coffee shop. I wonder if there were any other men trying to hit on him at this very moment.

The thought itself pisses me off more than I'd like it to and I'm forced to return to Peter's deadly glare.

"You know we're identical twin brothers right? God, I wish you would loosen up a bit. I'm sure if we work together I can find you an American Joseph 2.0." I offer and at just the mention of possibly cheating on his precious husband, his angry look turns to one of disgust. Of course, my identical twin brother found his soulmate and now the two turtle doves are married with three beautiful children living their perfect little life in their perfect mansion, with their perfect relationship.

I wasn't jealous at all.

If one of his kids gets sick, he takes turns with Joseph to provide the care their child needs. He's not taking care of them by himself. His children always have at least one parent with them at all times. Tae only has me and sometimes I feel like I can never do enough for him. I can try as hard as I can to be his mom and dad at the same time, but I'll always be lacking.

There are other days where I have to stay at work until way past his bedtime and can only check in on him and kiss the top of his sleeping head as a goodnight instead of reading his favorite bedtime story about crazy monkeys for the billionth time. It was those tiring days where I could only do the bare minimum that I felt like such a shitty father and he deserves so much more from me. I grew up with two CEO's for parents and nine siblings, so I was practically raised by multiple nannies and private tutors.

I wanted my little boy to have a different experience.

Peter rubs the bridge of his nose while squeezing his eyes shut.

"Sometimes, I question whether or not we actually parted from the same womb," He says and I roll my eyes. This was nothing new for us.

"Listen Peter, I can't be your wingman in the hunt for an American dream daddy if you start going gray before me and look like more of an older brother than a twin. What's wrong?" I ask and he sighs deeply.

"Our deal fell through Pierce, of course, I'm going to stress." He mutters under his breath.

"Listen, these things don't always go as planned and there was nothing we could do. We knew there was only a 15% chance of it going through is we came. We gave it our best but it's not like the company is going to sink without their international partnership," I try to calm my brother down, but he goes to stand and walks out of the small restaurant without me. I quickly pay and follow behind him.

***

"I just feel like there's so much pressure and everything's been going south since Jonathan left," Peter admits as we walk along the beach together. I put my hands in my pockets, remembering when Alejandro said I should go easy on him.

Our eldest brother, and head CEO of our company, randomly decided to pick up and leave the country to live in New York City like some sort of mid-life crisis after his wife died. He picked up some pieces of the company in our New York headquarters but everything back home went to the second eldest son, Peter.

"I'm not home as much as I use to be and I'm a doctor, not a businessman. The whole situation is stressing me out." He admits as he digs his toes in the California sand.

"I wish you would give me more responsibility Peter. I hate seeing you like this," I sigh, running my fingers through my hair.

"More responsibility means more hours and longer travel. You really want to do that with Tae about to enter elementary school?" He asks and I give the ocean foam a small kick.

"Aish, don't remind me. I don't want to think about it." I groan, feeling old at just the thought of my baby entering school.

"Anyway, I'm sure it's just the economy at the moment and we just have to ride the wave. I really do miss Joseph and the kids though, I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship with my family and I don't like it...Pierce?" At this point in his boring rant, a hot American bombshell on the beach checks the two of us out with her group of friends and I give them a small smile.

"Really!" He suddenly yells at me and I turn my attention back to my brother.

"What?" I was confused by his sudden outburst and instead of answering me he keeps walking ahead, ignoring my frustrated calls for him to explain.

"Peter! What!" I chase after him, kicking up sand as I run down the strip of beach with my unbuttoned dress shirt flailing in the breeze. He finally turns around and I accidentally smack into him, falling back onto the dry sand and landing on my ass.

"Don't what me! I'm trying to have an honest conversation with you, and for a few seconds, I thought you actually did give a shit about your brother. But instead, you're too much of a fucking whore to give me the time of day without flirting with everyone on this goddamn beach!" He yells in Alohowa instead of English, before storming off again.

"Peter!" I call after him one last time before giving up, deciding it would be better to give him some personal space.

What he said hurt but it was nothing new. I was the black sheep of my glamorous family, ostracized for being a whore and judged harshly for every stupid decision I make.

Oh sure, Peter can get married at eighteen and start a family, but I have a son at twenty-three and suddenly the world is on fire with its stupid tabloids and rumor-filled talk show host on tv screens. I hate it.

I hate it all.