Dear Taehyung, (MxM)

41: i hate you

* i hate you || i love you duel chapter is dedicated to @LisaHiggins3 and her son for her outstanding support and critical reading during the creation of this short novel. I was going to delete this book and give up until she came along at just the right time and changed my mind :,) so this is my big thank you!!! Although I'm sure I'll put another one in the credits.

~Pierce POV~

Alejandro pants behind me to catch his breath as I walk up the incline with ease.

"You're really out of shape my friend. It's concerning." I remark and he jabs my side.

"Shut up Peter," Ali huffs and I stick my leg out in the dark, listening to him tripping and gasping as he just catches himself before landing on the cold earth.

"Christ Pierce, when you said you wanted to go for a walk, I thought we were walking down the street not going for a fucking hike." He pants and I shake my head.

"It's a beautiful night. Why not?" I shrug. The cool breeze felt nice against my tingling skin and the full moon was out in full swing, lighting our path up Mount Brittanna.

"I didn't agree to this." he groans as he walks beside me.

"There are a lot of things that you do for me that you don't necessarily agree to." I laugh and he gives me a gentle shove.

We finally near the top of the cliff and were the only ones there. I clamber up my favorite boulder to his begrudging groans.

"Come on," I reach my hand out and he grabs it while I help him up. He sits next to me and lets out a deep sigh while catching his breath and taking in the view.

"Woah..."

The city below was casting off a small glow but it was nothing compared to the vast field of stars above us. Resting against the navy blue sky with the moon shining down on us.

I slowly turn my head, captivated by the sight of Ali; who was too preoccupied with watching the sky to even notice me.

His dark green eyes filled with a beautiful look of awe and he leans back on his arms and left his legs to dangle over the edge of the boulder.

His muscular chest took in deep breaths to make up for the lack of oxygen on our way up to this very spot. The same spot where I screamed until I lost my voice and let out all of my frustrations. I could see him clearly now and he was certainly just as frustrated as I was but for a different reason. There was something about this boulder combined with the view that made you want to face yourself and your greatest demons. I've never left here weaker than when I came.

The beauty in his pools of forest green reflect the brightness of the stars and the way he smiled reminded me that through all the struggle and pain he had gone through, he still managed to find a reason to smile. There were a lot of days where I had lost my reason. I loved my kids but they weren't the cause of my day to day happiness. They were an intricate balance between stress and love.

Alejandro, in all of his beauty and complicated emotions, is different. I can't help but stare just a little too long and catch myself asking if he was always as beautiful as he is right now.

I brought him here to tell him to stop his advances because I was getting weaker by the day, letting more and more flirtatious little notes slip from the tip of my tongue giving him a nonexistent hope.

I wanted to...no I needed to explain to him why we could never be.

But with this strange glow illuminating off him and his bright smile as he looked up at the stars I felt that small spark come back. It takes me by surprise as I feel my heart beating against my chest for the first time since Mika had left.