Dear Taehyung, (MxM)

27: Heartless

(Back to your regular scheduled Pierce POV)

"We need to talk"

Luccia starts as she plucks the thorns from a small white rose. I sit at the counter, exhausted from insomnia for the past three days since Mika left. My eyes burned from the amount of crying I had done and my head was pounding from a never ending migraine

And yet here I was at 12 am about to have one of the hardest; possibly life-changing, discussions of my life.

"I know we do but..." I start but she raises a hand and interrupts me.

"I don't want it."

When most women are eight months pregnant they hold their protruding stomachs defensively or at least acknowledge its existence.

But not Luccia.

She refused to look down and her arms were kept up at all times for fear she would even brush against the growing mass that was our child.

"What do you mean you don't want it? And why it? You don't know the gender?" I asked trying to stay calm and listen to what she had to say because at the end of the day, I wasn't the pregnant one.

"No, I don't know the gender and I don't care to know the gender. I don't give a shit about this baby, to put it bluntly. It could be an alien for all I know, I could care less. It's invading my body without my permission and I don't like it. It's almost like a disgusting tumor I can't get rid of." She says with such a harsh tone it was if she had a bad taste in her mouth and she wrinkled her freckled nose at the thought of it.

It being, you know, our accidental child not some rotting flower she happened to stumble across. Her words draw too many parallels to Taehyung's mother and it gives me the chills.

"Luccia...let's not..." She interrupts me again.

"I hate children, that's why as soon as this thing is born I want it gone. Either you take it or I'm giving it up for adoption, whatever's easier and quicker, I couldn't care less. But once it's gone for good I'm leaving." She says and there was so much in one sentence to wrap my mind around that my head starts to pound.

"I'm sorry I did this to you," I start and she crosses her arms and laughs in my face.

"You're sorry, fuck at least it was good. Otherwise, I would be pissed." She continues laughing.

This was not the Luccia I thought knew.

This was not the Luccia I had once loved.

This was a cold, hardened Luccia with the world on her shoulders and in need of a scapegoat and an escape.

I did this.

I did this to her.

I ruined my best friend's life and now she'll never be the same. Just another one to add to the long list of lives I had destroyed without meaning to.

Min Kyung, Luke, Luccia, Alejandro even...possibly Mika...probably my son's life too at one point or another.

No matter how hard I try all the lives I touch fall to pieces and I'm unable to catch them as they fall.

"So do you want it or not?"

I'm pulled back to reality as she asks this strangely simple question for something so complex.

It was like we were talking about bartering for some object. It was dehumanizing and gave me a new heartache on top of the one I already had for Mika.

"Of course, but stop calling our child and 'it', It's an innocent baby for god's sake. They didn't do this, WE did." I try again, beyond pissed off, but she only laughs again.

"Well you can call it whatever you want, but while it's in my body invading my personal space I prefer it." She says just to nip at me.

"And how are you going to leave? What? What about Alejandro? He needs you now more than ever," I ask she smirks and takes a sip of water from a small glass then traces her pointer finger against the rim.

"I already took care of him." She says quietly and I rub the bridge of my nose.

"Don't worry about him. I need a way out. It's the least you could do considering I'm going through a living hell over the worst mistake I've ever made." She says.

Her harsh words were like tiny horizontal razor blades against my skin.

Leaving open wounds that would eventually scar over and never leave.

I take a deep breath to the dismay of my aching heart, and let it out in one fluid motion. Still trying to stay calm without screaming at her for being so heartless.

When I finally meet her eyes again I was terrified to discover it was not the beautiful bright blue eyes of Lulu's that had always been full of so much life.

But the eyes of a complete stranger.