Intoxication.

33.

"So, you really just up and left without an explanation... Damn. That's low, even for you Sanaa..." Regina, Sanaa's good friend spoke, the disapproval evident in her tone as she took a sip of her honey tea.

Her other friend Nia had had been listening intently to her friend's dilemma, trying to give some rational advice. The two definitely had been shocked at the revelation that Sanaa had told them. She made sure to keep out the specific details of how her and Prince were intimate during his teenage years, but they were still taken aback by the magnitude of the somewhat rocky relationship she experienced. They couldn't believe that she had kept it secret all of these years from them.

"But maybe it's a good thing you left though. I mean, after all, this man has a baby AND a fiancee. You don't wanna be labeled the homewrecker right?" Nia spoke seriously, looking at her friend now with sympathy.

He doesn't even love her...Sanaa thought somewhat bitterly to herself, busying herself with chopping away some carrots for her chicken noodle soup. "I just...I know it'll never work out you know? I'm past it now..." She lied. She knew deep down she'd never get over the way she felt for this man, the way she still feels for him. It was overwhelming.

"You shouldn't have just up and left like that though" Regina scolded, takin another sip of her tea. "I know if I were him, I'd be pissed. Did you at least tell him how you felt?" Turning around to face her, Sanaa nodded quietly, chewing on her bottom lip. "I just, need to move on I guess. Life still goes on..." She tried to smile but it was forced, her friends from college seeing right though her bullshit.

Later on that night around 11 pm the older woman was simply sitting down, legs sprawled out on the sofa as she flipped mindlessly through the channels of the TV. Settling on some random horror movie, she quickly got up to make a bowl of popcorn and grab a glass of cherry wine. As her vision locked on the screen she noticed that the film wasn't just some random horror flick, it was Friday The 13th the same film she had remembered watching with him only a couple years back when he still lived with her. She could still imagine the shy 17 year old so vividly it was almost scary, Immediately memories of them came swarming back and she set the bowl of popcorn down with unsteady hands. She had never missed someone so terribly like this. It literally caused an dull ache in her heart...as well as in between her thighs.

"Fuck" she cursed softly, shutting her eyes, imagining that he had been with her at that moment. She could see it so vividly in her mind then, the smell of his colonge invading her senses, a rich spice with just a hint of lavender. She pictured his full lips, peppering every and whatever inch of her skin with kisses that had been exposed at the moment, licking and biting on her neck, her chest, her stomach trailing all the way down to her abdomen that began to tremble with so much desperation and need. Why did she have to run away from his place like some coward?

Because that's exactly what she was, a damn pathetic coward.

God I'm such a gotdamn damn idiot...she thought, letting out a sad but also embarrassed sigh while her left hand slowly made its way inside the waistband of the grey cotton sweats adorned on her hips. Once her index finger finally entered her warmth a sharp shaky sigh released from her parted lips, the back of her head already getting lost in between the cushions of the cream colored sofa.

She could almost hear that sweet baritone of his vibrating against her ear drum, encouraging her to keep going, his voice echoing along within her mind.

"Come on..."

"Come on..."

"Don't be shy, it's only you and I baby..."