Chapter Nineteen

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I felt like I was in a daze. I was burning up right now, and I couldn't understand why. I opened my eyes, and noticed that my house was extremely quiet. I knew that no one was here. Even if Shawn was here, he'd make some type of noise, or he would be here. Looking over to the clock, I noticed that it was five o'clock at night. I had no idea that I would sleep that long. Groaning, I threw the covers from my body and noticed that Shawn had undressed me down to a tank top and my underwear – the way that I preferred to sleep.

I was starving and sighed once I realized that my plans for the day were destroyed. I had plans on taking Shawn to the doctor's office to show him that we were expecting a child, and then we were going to spend the day together. I saw a piece of paper on the end table and smiled. It read, "Be right back. I love you. Shawn."

Hungry was an understatement at this point. I had to be strong right now. I couldn't act a fool like I wanted to. Even though a baby might not have been the perfect addition to this equation, I knew that Shawn and I would have made it perfect. Shawn was amazing with Julian, and I refused to take that for granted and not bear his children. Shawn's mentality on children was part of the reason that I grew more attracted to him. Honestly, had I not seen how he was with Julian, I probably would've kept our relationship strictly professional.

I walked into the kitchen and began searching for something to wear. I couldn't help but notice the baby interior design books that I had purchased this week. I was planning to refurbish the entire house, and make sure that the baby's room was perfect before things got too hectic. Even though I didn't know what the sex was, I had ideas for both genders.

Sighing, I decided to simply bake some chicken with cream of mushroom soup on top. As I was cooking the side dishes, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and corn, I could hear a vehicle pulling into the driveway. I knew that it had to be no one but Shawn, so I didn't think much of it. My mind was simply on cooking so that I could eat and go back to sleep. I wanted to be dead to the world for a few days – maybe weeks.

"You're not my father!" I heard Julian scream as soon as the door opened. This isn't what I needed right now. This isn't what Shawn needed right now. I closed my eyes and rested against a cabinet. They couldn't see me, and I didn't want them to. I didn't even want them knowing that I heard this conversation.

"Excuse me? You better watch your mouth! I don't know what's gotten into you!" Shawn spoke angrily to Julian.

"YOU!" Julian angrily yelled back. "You are selfish! You left Rih for my mom and now I can't see her. BOTH OF YOU ARE SELFISH!"

That was the straw. I was sick of this child walking around this house as if he paid some damn bills. I wasn't in the best mood to be dealing with a child, and didn't even know that they would be coming back tonight. Quickly, I stormed out of the kitchen, ready to unleash whatever anger that I had inside of me.

Shawn noticed this quickly and blocked my path. "Go lay down," he whispered to me.

"Shawn," I said calmly, "Get the fuck out of my way."

"Bey, no. I got this."

"You ain't got shit," I remarked quickly. "Somebody needs to snatch his little grown ass up, and as his mother, I feel well in my right."

Shawn placed his hands on my arms and simply held me. "Talk to him another day. You're not good for this," he told me. I knew that it was true. I wasn't in the best position to be going at my son right now, but he was truly pushing a lot of buttons.

"Julian go to your room and don't you dare come out," I finally said as my eyes connected with Shawn's. Even though I was a complete mess, I could tell that he was holding everything together for me. There couldn't be two train wrecks in one household.

Daniel looked around and I could sense that he wasn't okay with something. I moved from around Shawn and bent down to look at Danny. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Bey Bey, can I sleep with you?" He asked me.

"Yes, but why?"

"Nana told me the baby you swallowed is gone," he whined.

There was a soft spot in me. To hear his innocence talk about something that was very hurtful was enough to make the tears fall from my eyes. We hugged one another tightly. "Can you eat with me and watch a movie?" I asked him.

He nodded his head and I stood up to fix both of our plates. I had a lot of questions as to why certain things were happening. After fixing both of us a plate, we went to my room and he decided that he wanted to watch Transformers in 3D. I didn't have a problem with it, and it was actually entertaining a bit. His small giggles were what kept me from being sad during the movie. I knew that as long as I was occupied with something else, I couldn't cry.

Once Daniel was knocked out, Shawn came in the room.

"You alright?" he asked me curiously.

"Why are they here?" I asked him.

Shawn sighed. "I told your moms you had a miscarriage. She said she didn't care and to come and get them. She said she had something to do. I didn't want to leave you, so I asked her if she could drop them off. She kept going on about how that was an inconvenience to her, so I went to get them."

It angered me that my mother was being so heartless in this situation. She could've kept them at least for tonight. I think my anger showed as Shawn wrapped his arm around me. "It'll be fine, Bey. I'll handle them and keep them out your way."

I sighed and looked at him. "Shawn, you lost something, too."

It was almost as if he was trying to avoid it. He simply took our plates out the room and went down to the kitchen. I crawled into my bed and decided that it was best that I go to sleep. No sooner than I got in the bed, Daniel was snuggling on me like I was his overstuffed teddy bear.

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