Chapter 40 - Red Lipstick

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My apartment was eerily quiet as I sat at my mirror, styling my hair into a bun. Not having Jack around reminded me of what my life would be like if he didn't exist; empty.

I had dropped him off at my parents' house, like I did almost every Friday night, then rushed home to get ready for my date. Spencer always took me to the classiest restaurants in town, and although I had become kind of used to it, I knew I'd never fit in.

It always meant that I had to wear a beautiful dress, do my hair up nice, and apply my makeup perfectly. In the beginning, it took me two hours to get ready, but after doing it for so long, I could be completely done in under an hour.

And no matter how nice I thought I looked in the mirror before I left, someone at the restaurant always looked better. Whenever I walked into the room, I felt like everyone was watching me, criticizing me, wondering why I was among them, because I obviously didn't belong.

My family had been well off once, but we were never even close to being rich. And even when my parents could afford to buy me nice things, they always taught me never to show off or shove it in people's faces.

Now I sat in front of my mirror, coating my hair in a thick layer of hairspray to keep the stubborn fly aways down. My hair reached down to just below my hips, so managing it was always tough, but after years of doing it, it got easier.

After my hair was in order, I ha one final touch; bright red lipstick. My lips are extremely small, and have hardly any shape to them at all, so I never imagined that red lipstick would look good on me, but I was pleasantly surprised the first time I wore it.

It was the one thing I enjoyed about going out with Spencer. It gave me the perfect excuse to wear my lipstick. Wearing red lipstick made me feel confident and strong. It made me feel like a completely different person and I liked who I was when I wore it.

I opened the tube and started to dap it across my lower lip, making sure to coat it evenly in the bright red color. I pressed my lips together to get some on my top lip before I started to actually apply it.

I traced the edges of my top lip, bringing out the shape that they had, making them look like they actually had a shape.

I puckered my lips one last time before backing away from the mirror to take a good look at my own reflection.

My eyes closed, not too tight, and my hands softly fell to my sides, running along the slight curves of my hips. I had never been a girl that you would consider curvy, but having a baby changes a lot of things.

When my eyes fluttered open, and met the gaze of the piercing blue ones staring back at them, I was startled. The woman who stood before me didn't look anything like me. She stood tall, with a curvy hourglass figure, her curves only emphasized by the tight fitting gown she wore that hugged her hips perfectly. The dress, of a midnight blue, sparkled, a feature which would draw every eye in the room to her.

Her golden blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun, showing off her sharp jawline, a feature that she'd been told, on more than one occasion, was one of her best. The jet black eyeliner around her eyes, made them shine like the brightest glare off of the bluest sea.

And her fire engine red lips added an air of elegance that she knew she didn't possess, and a touch of confidence that was a stranger to her.

For the first time in my life, I viewed myself as something other than plain, something other than average. For the first time in my life, I was more than just me.

My eyes were torn from my reflection as the sound of the doorbell echoed through my apartment. And suddenly, I felt like myself again. Timid, passive, stubborn, everything I didn't want to be.

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