Jacob's Angel ✓

Chapter 5

Warning : This chapter contains mentions of self harm and abuse. People who are easily triggered might want to skip the scene. I'll put notes on the beginning and end of the scene.

***********************************

            I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. I am supposed to go to my first therapy session tomorrow. I sighed. I really didn't want to go. I've been avoiding Taylor after we fought. I was angry. How could he just make my decisions for me. I knew I didn't need therapy. I was handling my emotions well. The fact that I needed a therapist just made me feel weak, like something is wrong with me. I closed my eyes, a tear escaping them. It started with a few tears, then I started sobbing loudly. I was pathetic. I went to the mirror and looked at myself. I missed the cheerful me. I didn't want to live with the burden of this shitty secret. But I knew that I couldn't do anything about it. I just had to live with it. I hated every moment of my life. I only knew one thing that would help.

(A/N: The scene starts here. )

          I frantically began searching for it. I found it after a while. I looked at my wrists, there were old, dried up scars present. I tried not to cut, I really did. But I failed. I positioned the blade on my wrist, pressing it deep and then sliding it across. The physical pain distracted me from the emotional pain. And it felt good, better than anything. I thought about what would happen if I just end it here. What would happen if I just press a little harder ? The image of Taylor crying inconsolably flashed in my mind. That stopped me from taking a stupid decision. But it also fueled my emotions, making me cry harder. Crying, blood dripping from my wrist, I slid down to the floor. And soon after that, the darkness consumed.

************************************

          "Make this stop Ryan... please, this isn't right", I told him, tears in my eyes. He touched my cheek, and out of instinct, I flinched. I saw anger in his eyes. He suddenly held me by my jaw. "Ryan it hurts please", he just stared at me, the man was a true psychopath.
          "If you want me to be good you follow my rules, got it?", he said, his jaw clenched in anger. I sobbed more, his grip tightened, his fingernails digging in my jaw. "Got it ?", he repeated, he sounded like he was on the edge on insanity. Just a small trigger and he'll lose it. I nodded, my eyes filling up with tears."Good girl", he said, a smug look on his face. He enjoyed this. I knew he did. It wasn't just the physical part. He wanted to feel the power he had on me. His hand slid down my neck. I hated it. I hated him. I hated myself because I let this happen.
          I wished I was dead. I wished that he would stop. I wished that this horrible man would stop tormenting me, his own sister.

(A/N: You can read now)

************************************

            "Lisa! What the fuck is this !?", I woke up to see Taylor's worried face staring at me. I looked down to see where he's looking at,  I saw dried blood. "You see why you need a therapist ?? Oh God Lisa, you could've talked to me if something was wrong", he rambled on, his eyes filled with tears. "It's okay Taylor, I'm fine", I said. Guilt  consumed me when I looked at his defeated expression. "You're not fine Lisa. Stop saying that", he whispered. I hung my head not saying anything. "People who have moved on don't do this Lisa.", he sighed. He stood up, and took the medicine kit. He gently took my hand in his, wiping the blood away. "You can ignore me all you want Lisa. You can fight with me, and hit me, but deep down you know the truth. You know you're not over what happened. That's fine. You should take your time. But I want you to at least try", he said. When he was done, he kissed me on my forehead, "I love you Lis. You're my only sister. I hate to see you like this". With that, he walked away, leaving me with my thoughts.

************************************
          The therapist asked me a few pointless questions, he asked questions that were completely unrelated to anything. And when I told him the answers, he looked completely disinterested. Are all therapists this shitty ? I zoned out every 15 mins and I was craving chocolate.
And that is exactly the reason I'm sitting here, in a coffee shop with a huge piece of cake.
          There was a boy sitting two-three tables away from me, and he was quite handsome. But Jacob was better. The boy's eyes were brown, Jacob's were blue, they looked beautiful. The boy had a nice body, but Jacob was surely hotter.

Where the actual fuck is all this coming from????

And why the fuck am I comparing a random hot guy with Jacob ? Why Jacob ?

I groaned and continued eating my cake.

That boy was doing serious damage.

And he doesn't even know about it.

************************************
Author's note :

Hope you liked it.
Vote
Comment.