Jacob's Angel ✓

Chapter 34

          "He doesn't believe me", I cried out. "Lisa-", Taylor tried. "He doesn't fucking believe me !", I screamed, sobbing. "What was I thinking ? Why did I do that ?", I mumbled to myself, running a hand through my hair. "Lisa, listen to me, It's okay, it's fine. I'm still here", Taylor said. "We're still here", Charlotte said, holding my hand. 

          No. No, this wasn't okay. I just lost another family member. I should've shut up. I roughly pulled my hand away from Charlotte and ran to my room. I could hear them following me. I shut the door to my room. I heard a bang on my door. "Lisa, open the door", Taylor shouted. I opened my closet and got a scarf from it. "I swear Lisa, if you don't open the fucking door, I'm going to break it down", Taylor shouted again. I took my chair and climbed up on it. I could hear Taylor kicking the door. I had to do this quick. This is the only way. My family will finally be happy. I've got to do this. I've already ruined my family, I can't afford to ruin anything else. I continued to tie the scarf to the fan. I was about to tie the other end to my neck when the door opened. 

          Taylor ran towards me and pulled me down from the chair. "No", I whispered. "Lisa, fucking look at me. I'm not going to let you do this. You aren't going to leave me alone. You hear me ? You can't leave me", Taylor said, holding my arms in a tight grip. My knees gave up as I sobbed. Charlotte held my face in her hands, tears in her eyes, "We love you Lisa. Taylor loves you. Jacob loves you. Don't hurt them. Please". I looked at Taylor, who was crying.

          "I can't", I said, "I- I can't do this". Charlotte shook her head, "No, you can. You know you can. This is not you Lisa. Remember when you stood up to Brenda for me ? for Janise ? Remember when you stood up to Blake ? When you stood up the whole freaking school for Brenda? That is you. You don't give up Lisa, not this easily", Charlotte said, "Think about us. About Taylor, who practically raised you. Think about me, Janise, Scott, Brenda, we are nothing without you. Think about Jacob, who's hopelessly in love with you. What do you think will happen to us when you aren't here. We'll be devastated Lisa. Please Lisa, think". Tears were rolling down her face. I hugged her tight. Taylor hugged us. "It's difficult", I whispered with a sob. "I know Lis. We are here with you. We'll always be here with you", Taylor said, "It'll be okay".

When ? When will it be okay ? 

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           "Do you want me to stay with you ?", Charlotte asked. "No, I'll be fine", I said. Taylor had allowed me to stay at home today. He was taking a leave from college too. Charlotte smiled my way, "Take care". She left the room. I sighed and cuddled my pillow. What the fuck was I thinking ? Of course dad didn't believe me. Why would he ? Ryan was always perfect in their eyes. Thoughts swirled around in my head. A tear escaped my eye as I hugged the pillow closer to my chest. Mom was right, I am a disappointment.                                                                                                         What if dad hates me ? What if he never talks to me again ?  

Just thinking about it made me sob harder. 

          A knock on my bedroom door made me snap out of my thoughts. "Lis ?", Taylor called. I wiped my tears and tried to sound normal, "The door isn't locked. You broke it yesterday, remember ?". My voice was really deep and it definitely gave away that I was crying. The door opened  to Taylor with a hell lot of food in his arms."What's this for ?", I asked. "I found out that girls like to binge watch and binge eat when they're sad. So here I am", he said. I chuckled and helped him to carry the food inside my room. He set up the laptop and we started watching 'Shameless'. "Taylor ?", I called out. "Do you want to tell me that I'm a great brother and you love me ?", he asked. I shook my head, "No". "Then hush", he said. I hugged him close, "Taylor". He sighed, "What ?". I offered him a small smile, "I love you". He smiled back, "I love you too Lis". 

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          We were surrounded by food wrappers and probably had food on our faces when the doorbell rang. Taylor shot up, "I'll clean up, you open the door". I smiled, "It's fine, I can clean my room". He rolled his eyes, "I meant I'll clean myself up", he said pointing at his face. I grinned, "Because it's Charlotte ?", I asked, wiggling my eyebrows. He rolled his eyes and kicked me out of the room. My own room.

Jerk.      

          I went downstairs, mumbling curses and opened the door to find Charlotte and Jacob. Jacob came inside and hugged me tight. "Oh, okay. Come in.", Taylor said. I looked at him to find him smiling at Jacob. He returned Taylor's smile. Charlotte walked in and threw her bag on the couch. She turned to Taylor, "We have to go grocery shopping, right ? Let's go". Taylor passed her a confused look. He walked up to where she was standing. They started 'whispering'. "But we have groceries", Taylor said. "Shut up Taylor. We have to make an excuse to leave them alone", Charlotte said. "Wow, you're getting meaner day by day", Taylor said, giving her a fake concerned look. He turned towards us, "We're going grocery shopping", he said. "Yeah. Bye guys" , Charlotte said. Then they walked out of the door. 

          Jacob and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. We walked to my room. "So. how did it go ?", Jacob asked. I sighed, "Bad". He gave me a sad smile, "You don't want to talk about it, do you ?". I shook my head. "Okay then, come here. Let's continue whatever you two were doing", he said eyeing the wrappers on my bed. I laughed, "Yeah". 

        We were five minutes into the episode when the doorbell rang. I sighed, "They must have forgotten something". I got up from the bed, "I'll be back in a minute". He nodded. I walked downstairs and opened the door, "You two are so-", my breath was knocked out of my lungs when I saw The person standing at my door. "Surprised to see me ?", he asked with a mocking smile. "R- Ryan", I whispered.

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Author's Note :

I cried while writing this chapter.
Also, I think Jacob's Angel is close to an end. Like really close.

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Lots of love.