"Please Don't Go."(Levi X reader)

Chapter Twenty Six

Was I ready for such a task? My mind was riddled with questions. I was on the back of my horse trying to calm my shaking hands. My knuckles where almost white from my strength. Oh how I wish I would've denied his request. Was it a reqest of was it an order. By the tone of Erwin's voice is seemed as if it was an order; the wording begs to differ.  

"(Y/n) Are you okay? You look petrified!" Petra asked, a concerned look on her face. I must have completly tuned the world out because when she asked I jumped, making (H/n) to slightly shift his weight. 

"No." I say blankly, averting my gaze to the saddle. I wasn't ready for this. I was certainly going to die. There are way more soldiers that have skills better then my own. Upon thinking my skin started to crawl and I started to get more anxious. My anxities quickly catching up was not a good thing. This would affect my performance on the battle feild. The doubt was writen all over my face. Some soldiers were turning around waiting to be called to attention. When they locked eyes with me however they gave me a look of reasurence, they could feel my fear radiating off of me. 

"What why? Are you ill? You're shaking like crazy!" Petra exclaims. I merely shook me head. No I wasn't sick, I felt fine. I'm scared. I'm not fit to be a soldier. I listen to Petra sigh in relief next to me. In a way I feel slightly comforted. I continued to look down, giving a light smile. Then I managed to look up.

"Petra?" I ask, starteling her out of her own thoughts. She let out a hum in response. "Do you think it's bad that I'm nervous? Do you think I'll die? Will this affect my performance and kill me? I don't want to die! No! I'm not ready!" I blurt. My sudden out burst caused a few soldiers to look back confused. Petra only gave me a pitied look.

"No." She says smiling lightly and resting a hand on my sholder, "Everyone getst scared or nervous before going out, but you'll be fine. When the adrenillan kicks in you won't even know you are fearing. Just fight and you'll be fine. It won't affect your performance. I know it's hard to do but stop worrying! You'll be great. If you are in help we'll be there to get you! Okay?" Petra somehow managed to make me smile. Most of my fear oddly went away an my confidence was suddenly boosted.

"Okay." I mummble. Finally Hange steps forward looking over the group of soldiers along with Levi. 

"Alright! you guys know the routine, just inspect area and get a basic understanding of what we will be doing. Clear as much as possible!" Hange shouted firmly. She seemed like a completely different person now. She was defineitly a get down to business type person and I was shocked to see the sudden personality change. Levi stood beside her quietly. Honestly I found it quiet humorous when he was standing next to Hange. She was so tall compared to him! I watched silently as Hange and Levi both mount their horses. 

"Onward!" Hange shouted excitedly. She caused her horse to rear up and a few others followed, too. Wanting to boost my confidence I pulled on my reins and caused (H/n) to rear as well giving a light cocky smirk to those around. My balence was perfect and people who were near by waited in awe. I gave a harsh kick to signal (h/n) to move forward. The gates were open and I was brought into the outside world. 

I stared taking a deep breath. It was beautiful, nothing like I imagined. I've always followed the rules and never read any books about the outside world and what it contains; seeing it with my own two eyes it breath taking. I've heard many stories from my father and mother, explaining some of their duties mangaging the walls as trainees. When I pictured it I imagined a small area, with dull green grass and dull skies. 

Oh was I wrong!  The grass was a brillient green and the skies a bright blue. Big fluffy clouds in the sky, and a sun shining down creating a small rainbow. It was beautiful. Then reality kicked in. Within the first ten minutes we ran into trouble.