"Please Don't Go."(Levi X reader)

Chapter Thirty Seven

A pounding headache taunted me. It was plaguing. I didn't sleep, and my eyes were likely bloodshot. Everything ached. I was mentally, and physically ill. It felt as if I couldn't even move. Although the pain wouldn't go if I didn't try to do something. It was likely Seven in the morning. Early, but not too early. I could hear faint talking and my suspicion grew. I shifted myself up off the bed and let out a yawn. A twinge of pain pricked my head and I grasped it. 

"It must be a migraine." I mumbled to myself. I'd have to go to a shop to get herbs to help this but that's too much work. I could manage. I also just woke up so really it could be the matter of 'lack of water.' I pushed my weak body off the comfortable bed. A cloud of black and dizziness waved over my body. I stumbled slightly from lack support. When my vision was repaired I walked to the door.

It was closed slightly and it lead directly to the stairs. I cautiously stepped down and peered over. I could hear my father talking to someone. My curiously arched more. I held the rail tightly and carefully stepped down. I reached the bottom and lazily drug myself to the living room where the talking was happening.

I spot the couch, and my head spun. I squinted my eye and fell on the couch letting out a groan. "Look who's up." I replied with a groan earning a chuckle from my father. I let out a pained sigh and rolled over. 

"Good morning Father." I mumbled. 

"Now it's rude not to say hell to your guests, we've talked about this (y/n)." I shot my head up making eye contact with Levi who was seated in the chair next to the coffee table. I have totally forgot about Levi's existence. He had a small white cup in his hand, holding it along the brim and tilting his arm whenever he took a drink out of it. 

"Good morning! I'm sorry. I'm out of it. Tired." I explained head still in the couch. A few moments a silent passed and I nearly fell asleep.

"(Y/n), get up. Get dressed you are still a soldier, and an adult. You can't let this slow you down especially on the battle field. You'll be seeing a lot more death when you start your official missions. It's sad to think that an angel such as you will see so much hell. But even angels go through hard times." My father spoke. I didn't notice but both my father and Levi were dressed in their uniforms. I held my breath for a moment.

"Okay." My morning monotoned voice interrupted the silence. I wasn't ready for work again. Not after what I had dealt with. I'm not ready to leave the comfort of my own home. I don't want to loose my father. If he's gone. I'll have no one. That to me is terrifying. Aching limbs stepped up to stairs and gather my material. I put my shirt on and my uniform. I walked back down the stairs leaving my dirty clothes up in my old room.

"I'll be back, without a doubt." I mumble. Closing my door. So many memories swarmed my mind from that. My mother and I playing with toys, my sister making a mess of the room, and my father reading books to me. Telling me thrilling stories about his experiences in the military. I smiled and closed the door tight sealing those precious memories away for another day. My father is right, no time to morn. I've got work to do. 

"Hurry up (y/n) The carriage will be here soon, and we will have to leave." Levi said as he walked up the stairs to come find me. I turned around and another ping of pain punctured my head. I cringed and Levi noticed. Eyes slightly glistening in concern he ask, "You alright?"

Trying to hide my pain, and weakness I nodded my head, but it only made it worse. "Yep!" 

"I can tell your not. Headache? Migraine? When we get back to the base we will consult Hange and see if she has anything. Take it easy today. Don't hurt yourself." Levi said patting my shoulder. I walked a head of him down the steps and he followed behind me.  The new cadets will be there and I am quite excited to meet them all. I've been given word that a number have joined this year. The 104th fourth squad had many tough soldiers. Maybe humanity will have an actual shot.

"Your carriage has arrived (y/n) and Levi." I sigh and look to Levi. My father was placed in the kitchen; Levi and I in the living room. Levi and I walked to the Kitchen, the door is where we would. I was slightly nervous. I can't let that take me down. Bidding our farewells we departed.  

Before the door closed I could hear my father make a embarrassing remark, "Keep her safe." My face flushed red. I ignored him and got into the carriage. Another long time ahead of us.

"(Y/n) you better rest up with that headache of yours. We have a expedition in two days and you need to be in the best condition. Please sleep. I can tell you are strained. Pushing yourself in a time of defeat isn't good. Collect yourself first before continuing." I didn't reply right away. My hands were placed in my lap calmly. Levi nudged me slightly. That was slightly out of character from him. All of this was. Was he taking my father's words to heart? I hope he isn't forcing himself. I hate when people force themselves into love.

"I won't argue with you because I feel that you will only prove me wrong. I'll sleep, but I swear I am fully capable of performing at the expedition. As flattering as it is, don't force yourself to give me attention. I know I've gone through shit, but we all have. But you can sympathize with that person and leave. Don't use this as me pushing you away because I really value our friend. A lot actually but at times I feel as if I'm a burden. You are a strong soldier, and I only feel I bring you down. Anyways this isn't about my feelings this is about my well being right? I'll just follow my Superior's rules and get rest." I turn around and shift to get comfortable. I could hear an audible sigh come from Levi as he watched me turn. Did I hurt him? A man of his emotion didn't seem to be one to get hurt. Although he's still human I can't just assume. I can't push him away. He was only trying to care for my well being, and my mental health. I should be thanking him for doing such a generous act. 

"That's not what I meant." Levi said harshly. "I'm concerned for you. I'm looking out. Like a friend should do. I didn't look out for Farlan and Isabel and look where they ended up! This will be your first expedition and I don't want to loose you too! You matter to much to me." Explained Levi. I turned back to him and resting my hand on his shoulder. 

"It's not your fault that those two are dead. It's what fate had chosen. You were blinded with anger, but those two couldn't see that because they were too. I'm here to help guide you as I hope you guide me. I think we are both tired. Maybe on the way back we should both sleep. We've been busy." Levi didn't answer, I rested my hand on his cheek and I could feel him hesitate. My heart fluttered and hand slightly quaked. He grunted in response before falling deeper into my touch. I felt him rest his head on my hand and it grow heavier. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waste. Taking in a waft of his scent. Lemony, and lavender scented. I felt as if I were at peace, and as Levi wished. I fell asleep. In his arms. His stiff, and tense arms. He was probably shocked by this but in that moment I didn't care.

AYYY I AM BACK! I am so sorry for my absences! I really need a break to think about what a was going to happen so please pardon that. Anyways a few life updates. School has officially started, and I'm doing good so far. NOT FAILING YET. Also, updates on dance... I quite studio. I am free almost every day now but Mondays, Wednesday, and Thursday (and sometimes a Friday) It basically frees up all my time because I work out Monday and Wednesday and I have horse back Thursday. Thursdays I'm packed because I do a camp afterwards but I still could manage time (don't count on it though.)

More updates, I'm currently single. I may have told you or I may have not, but I feel like I talk about this a lot so...IMMA INFORM YOU! I'm talking to a boi and he leik me so updates on that maybe later.. 

I'm on the highschool varsity dance team so I dance A LOT. Varsity football games and more. Our team is doing pretty well and so we might be going to state which will cause me to be absent because PRACTICE, but as these times come up I will try to keep you posted on my conversations board. So if you really want to follow this story PLEASE turn notifications on that board so you can see what I am up to and when I wil be posting.. (I'm going to try to keep that up to date.) Anyways thanks for reading and being patient...Bye!