ruminative ; assassination classroom oneshots

nagisa & reader | feelings

requested by:
FunEncounters
NeRu_Ak1Ta

oh god. if you only know how much i miss doing a nagisa one shot.

nagisa is older than you here, okay?

——-

Whenever I see her, I am always amazed

I stop breathing. It feels so weird. Maybe

This is the feeling of the love that I have heard of

Since the beginning, my heart has been beating because of you.

——-

Third Person's Point of View

"Ne— you're really a grown up girl now, Y/N-chan!" Nagisa teased as he brushes his fingers in Y/N's hair.

He felt proud of Y/N, that finally she has come out of her shell and has become more comfortable of the emotions she's feeling, and that she is ready to share it to anyone, especially in her dear senpai, Nagisa.

Y/N's head is still bowed down, not making any eye contact. Her fingers are fidgeting, randomly playing with the hem of her uniform's skirt. Nagisa suddenly approached the girl and sat beside her, putting his arms around the young girl's shoulder.

Well, they were like siblings, if that's what you call it. Nagisa was older by a year, but he met Y/N because she was always in top of the mountain where Class 3-E is located. She was there, especially when it's recess and lunch. He took it as a chance to make friends with her, and gladly, she accepted it and then starts their friendship.

"So, senpai, how would I tell this person that I love him, without him feeling awkward or anything?" Y/N asked nervously, her head still looking down, unable to look at the blue head lad's eyes. "You know I have never confessed to someone before." The shy lass added as her face is painted with pure anxiousness.

"Be gentle while you're admitting. Just suck it up and do it," Nagisa shrugged as he replied.

He couldn't understand what he was feeling at the moment.

He feels happy that Y/N is in love, but at the same time, his heart is breaking into a million pieces that it's not him his baby girl has fallen for.

"I don't think I can do it up front and in person." Y/N answered, as she cupped her face with her hands. "But I can't really take it anymore, it's driving me crazy, senpai." She sighed. "I feel like the longer it takes me to confess, the faster he's slipping away from me."

"Then why don't you just call him? Do it now. Call him, and just tell him." Nagisa advised with a little tinge of bitterness in his tone. He slowly removed his arms from Y/N's shoulder as he's getting uncomfortable with his messed up feelings.

"Don't let your emotions get too bottled up, or you'll end up feeling worse." His words came out like he knew everything.

Nagisa doesn't even know how and why, but for someone who also couldn't confess his own love for Y/N, his word of advice seemed ironically bizarre.

He really liked her, from the first moment she saw her eating at the tree branch. His infatuation for her grew bigger and bigger as their relationship started to grow. And it was just a matter of time when he realized that he was already head-over-heels for her. He was completely in love.

But he couldn't say it to her, for he was too afraid.

Afraid of being judged and being rejected.

Afraid of any complications that may cause to ruin what they started, and the closeness they have with the people around them.

For someone who thought keeping his feelings to himself was a better option, it felt paradoxically stupid that he's the one pushing Y/N to express her love. Sadly, not to him, but to someone else.

"You really like him that much, huh?" Nagisa mumbled, this time he couldn't bear the pain any longer. The sound of the birds crashing into the pile of leaves fail in comparison to the deafening silence echoing from his heart.

Y/N just nodded, still not making eye contact.

The blue head boy stood up and looked away into the main campus building, as the sky slowly turned from a deep warm orange hue into a dark indigo one.

He realized that like the sunset, there are things that all we could do is watch. And having to witness Y/N confessing his feelings to someone else is probably the darkest and the saddest sunset in his life.

His eyes started to water, but he's still trying to hold it in. He took a deep breath and spoke to his love of his life without showing any emotion. "Call him now. And tell him you love him. As simple as that. You don't need to wait for him to answer back."

Him insisting on this idea was too absurd for him. He doesn't even know why he was doing it. Maybe he has already accepted defeat. Maybe he just really want it done and to be over with, once and for all.

"Just call him and let him know what you feel." He tried his best but his voice started to croak at that point. Tears had already began to stream down his cheeks, but of course, he kept in hidden from Y/N.

He bit his lip as he finally decided to walk away. Ten steps ahead, he blurted out, "I wish you happiness, Y/N-chan! I really do. Goodluck!" without even looking back.

Y/N didn't even manage to give him a one last glimpse, but his words struck her right in the heart. Her whole face felt warm and her nose was twitching uncontrollably. Liquid brimming out of her orbs, it decided to fall on her cheeks.

She wiped her hands off to the side of her skirt to clean off the dirt and reached her phone that was located on her pocket. Her heart is beating erratically, yet everything around her seems to be in a slow motion. She let out a huge deep sigh before dialing the number.

She closed her eyes. The moment the number rang, her veins stopped pumping. Like she was in a limbo, lost in time and space.

She secretly wished that no one would answer the phone.

She wanted to turn her phone down and end the call but she couldn't move.

Ringing...

Ringing...

Ringing...

Ringing...

...and then finally, someone picked up the phone.

Y/N could hear the quiet sobs on the other end of the line.

"Why was he crying?" She thought.

"I-I love you, Nagisa-senpai... I love you so much." Y/N's voice broke as she compelled to let her feelings out and just cry it out.

Nagisa froze from where he was standing. He glanced back at Y/N, to find that she was staring longingly at him.

The wind seemed hotter and heavier. The smell of the trees and the mountain itself seemed different.

"I love you too, Y/N." He uttered in between silent sobs and hiccups. "I love you too, so so much."

The sun was already gone, but his whole universe was right there looking at him, standing beside the tree she always stayed on, crying but smiling, and telling him that she loves him.

>>>>>

inspired from a taekook au in twitter made by @/tigerbunny22 !! (*'꒳'*) [most of the words used came from her au]

see you on the next.

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arigato gozaimasuu~ ^-^

next update: isogai & reader