Closer - Noah Centineo/Peter Kavinsky

Closer (Part 8)- emotional breakdown

I come down the stairs the next morning to see two luggages next to the front door and my parents in the kitchen. Mom's flying to California for a pro bono case while dad is going to do a major surgery in Texas. She decided to fly with him to Texas, and take a connecting flight to California, so they had a few hours in the plane with each other. Them going away for 3 days literally was no different than them staying in our town since they were never home. I mean, at least this way I could throw my spontaneous party with my friends.

"Elle, good you're up before we have to leave," my mothers says smiling.

"Yeah, I mean, I have school in like 40 minutes"

She literally looks at me as if she's forgotten that I have school. How sad, but I try not to take it too personally, telling myself that she's probably beat from work, and barely functioning herself.

"How's Seth honey?" my dad asks, with the paper in his hand. I mean, the gesture is nice, but he never asks me about myself. Seth and him used to be extremely close back when my dad still had time for life outside of work. He loved him to death. Both of my parents do. They want to see us eventually get married and have kids together. School first, of course. Reputation means everything to my family.

I guess that's where I get the organization from for my future. Everything has to be planned. And they want professional dancing and Seth to be part of my plan.

"He's good. His friend from New York is staying with him and his family for the rest of the year. And he's also concentrated on soccer right now," I explain, grabbing a Poptart. He nods with an ahhh sound and goes back to his paper. Wow.

My mother rushes to me, snatching the Poptart away from my hands. "You know you shouldn't be eating this junk right before your recital and auditions," she snaps, throwing it in the trash. It was literally unbitten. What a waste of food.

I feel my chest start to heat up from anger. This was so usual from her, and I was sick of always feeling not good enough for her. Like one Poptart would crush all my hopes and dreams. I grab an apple, and tell them in the rudest way ever to have a safe flight. Slamming the door behind me, I go to my car and drive to school. I call Yaz on the way telling her there's no need to pick me up. My mental health was on the line in that moment, and I had to get away from my parents.

I park in the furthest spot I could find, since I sense that my emotions are going to take over me. My emotional explosion is bound to happen any second. My body is leaned forward with my head in my hands. The tears can't be held back, and my cheeks are wet within seconds. Why did I have to be so freaking sensitive? This was not the time to have an emotional disaster. I felt so frustrated that my emotions couldn't be controlled and I didn't even know how to analyze what I was feeling.

Suddenly, I hear my window pounding and I look up to see a concerned Jay standing outside in ripped jeans, and a sweater with his signature chain necklace. Great, now one of Seth's friends saw me cry. He motions for me to open the door and I unlock it, letting him come in since there was no way I could turn on the engine and drive away.

He sits in the passenger seat and doesn't even look at me. He starts opening up all my compartments, going through my things.

"Wh-," I start confused as hell. He pulls out a set of tissues, and hands one to me and I'm literally baffled by his behavior once again.

"Ella, whats wrong?" he asks, concerned turning to face me.

I blow my nose, feeling so gross doing it next to Jay while I'm a complete wreck. "I'm sorry. I guess I didn't get enough sleep and I was feeling emotional because of my non existent parents," I breathe out.

"Why are you sorry?" he furrows his eyebrows.

"For crying in front of you," I look down, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

"You don't have to apologize for letting your feelings out," he says softly. "Especially not with me. Does Seth know whats going on?''

"I mean he does know the whole backstory. But, its just happening constantly and I don't want to drown the same people with my problems. I'm fine," I smile weakly.

It was true. Seth and I left serious talk out as much possible in our relationship. We knew everything about each other, we just didn't talk about problems or struggles really. Our relationship was based of our jokes and fun. Jealousy was also never a problem. We just never cared with what kind of people we hung out with, or who was trying to talk to us.

"I know what you mean," he pauses. I sense that he's also been in my situation, and I feel him wanting to say something. But instead he goes on to tell me, "I totally get that. If you don't want to tell the same old people whats going on, you have me. I'm a new person and a good listener even if you might not think so. I'd like to be there for you when you need a new person, Ella"

There he goes with my name again. I don't know why, but having someone call me by my real name makes me feel so warm and happy inside. I feel acknowledged in a way that I can't even comprehend. I'm also thankful that he doesn't seem to pry and expect me to tell him the full story.

I smile, softly while sniffling a thank you. He smiles back 3 times bigger. "Your smile is contagious," he says earnestly before I see him turn away to look out the window with a clenched jaw.

I stiffen in my seat and try to change the topic, so a six foot tan Jay doesn't notice me turn red to his sentence. Like that helped. "How did you even find me here? " I ask, as we get out of my car.

He runs his hair, casually through his hair and replies "Well, I was coming from the basketball court, since I wanted to talk to coach about joining the team, and this back entrance was closest to first period"

"Oh, right yeah, of course," I answer dumbly.

"Hey Ella, can I catch up with you later? I told Cindy Letterman that we could meet before class and sit next to each other. I've kinda left her hanging for a few minutes," he says, looking down at me with sorry eyes. He makes brown eyes seem totally not boring, like most people would think about brown eyes.

It's just an observation.

"Sure," I answer, looking straight ahead at the entrance.

He starts jogging away after saying thanks, and stops to turn around right before he's about to go in. "Don't forget what I told you in the car. I meant it!" he yells, with a goofy grin causing people to turn to us.

I break out into a smile and nod back. I honestly felt like he didn't just tell me these things, because I was crying and he had to. He was completely genuine, even though he didn't have to be, and for that I was thankful. I thought maybe just maybe he was even worthy of  being part in the group I mentally called my loyal family, which consisted of only three special people: Seth, Yazmin and Violet.

Who knows. We'll see.