Closer (Part 42)- the break up

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"So, coach was telling me to switch positions during practice because Thompson was literally on something and - Babe, are you even listening?" Seth asks while he pulls up into my empty driveway.

No, I'm too busy calming my nerves. I'm mentally preparing myself to break up with you.  I'm scared to hurt you.

"Uh, yeah sorry. I'm listening," I stutter while struggling to unbuckle my seat. After a few seconds of failing, I manage to get out of its choking grasp and meet Seths gaze.

"Elle," he whispers softly while nudging me in the shoulder. "What's up with you? You seem so distant lately"

I look down to the the friendship/relationship bracelet that he gave me for Christmas and feel my stomach sink to the ground.

"Can we get out of the car?" I breathe out, going for the door.

"Sure, sure. Let's sit on the porch swing," he says calmly, while following me out the car. I can feel his ocean blue eyes burn through my body with every step I take in front of him.

I feel his long arm wrap around my shoulders on the swing and take in the Hollister scent on his hoodie.

"What's up?" he asks concerned.

"Seth, you know I love you from the bottom of my heart, right?" I croak out, trying to blink back the tears.

"Yeah, I do. Elle, can you please spit it out. You're scaring me," he chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his head.

"I'm just not in love with you," I tell him quickly, looking down at my lap.

"What?"

"You didn't hear me?"

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"You didn't hear me?"

"No, I did" he answers back coldly.

The most uncomfortable silence casts upon us while I struggle to find the words to say. I glance back at the boy who just a few seconds ago removed his arm from my shoulder.

"Love is love Elle," he suddenly says after softening his face. "You love me. I love you. I don't see where the problem is,"

Is he that naive? Does he really see it as being the same thing?

"Seth, there's a difference. I can love you and not want you to be my boyfriend because I'm not utterly in love with you," I explain to him.

"So, you don't wanna be together anymore or what?" he spits out coldly.

"No, I don't think it's the right thing," I whisper meeting his angry facial expression.

"Is this because of what happened at the party? Cuz I told you I was sorry, Elle,"

"It's not. I forgave you for that,"

"Then, why are you doing this? How you can say it's not right? We're best friends that fell for each other and got to be more. What's more perfect than that?"

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