Today I Met The Girl I'm Going To Marry | jensoo

Chapter 51

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.

Nobody knows my sorrow.

Boo!

Hiss!

I'm sad!

It feels like a lifetime ago since I last saw Jennie or spoke to her.

Ages really.

I wonder if she changed her hair color.

I wonder if she looks different.

What?

It could happen.

Who cares that it's only been 52 hours and 44 minutes since we parted ways.

Not that I'm obsessively counting or anything.

Jennie has probably moved on already.

Forgotten all about little old me.

Yup.

I bet she met some girl who wouldn't mind staying in the closet and I also bet they're off having sex right now.

Oh god!

Jennie's having sex with some hottie while I'm at home, on the couch, stuffing my face in hopes of getting over her.

Oh, right, I should probably mention that I've moved out of the "non-stop crying" stage and onto the "my life sucks and I'm going to die alone" stage.

I'm not sure which stage is worse.

There was actually someone in my apartment when I arrived home Sunday night.

Rosé.

She found me on the floor, crying hysterically and stayed until morning.

Jennie called her because Rosé has a key and she didn't want to leave my place unlocked.

I know!

Even though I want to be so mad at Jennie, I still find her thoughtful.

We stayed on the couch throughout the night because I refused to go back to my bed.

Too many good memories for me to deal with when I felt like utter crap.

And that's where I've been ever since.

Sigh.

So Rosé listened to me and held me like any best friend would.

I was a blubbering mess but she managed to calm me down somehow. I asked Rosé if she thought I made a mistake leaving Jennie.

She refused to answer that question.

Rosé told me that it was my decision to make and she'd support me any way she could.

I wish she would have given me her thoughts on the situation though.

I really, really do.

Because all I've done since Rosé left yesterday morning was second guess myself.

I've gone back and forth on the issue.

And reached the following conclusions:

I'm madly and deeply in love with Jennie.

I want to be with her.

I want this gut wrenching pain to go away.

I want to be in Jennie's arms.

I want to have the kind of relationship with Jennie that my parents have.

I want all of those things.