Expect the unexpected

Chapter 38

"Are you okay?"  Kalin said standing at the entrance of my room leaning against the door.

"No." I said and the tears pour out.

"Hey look at me?" Kalin walked over to me locking his arms around my petite waist. And moved my chin up so our eyes connect. "Everything is going to be fine. We'll get through this. This is just a bump on the way. "

"I just feel so horrible.  I'm exhausted. I am tired of crying.. I can't take this anymore Kalin. I lost my bestfriend. I brought out the worst in him. It was like I was talking to someone else. He said such hurtful things to me. But everything he said was nothing but the truth. I hate my self for what I have done to him.

" Stop babe. Don't talk like that. Blaming yourself is not going to make things better. He changed because he wanted to."

"Can I ask you something Kalin? I want you to be completely honest with me!"

"Yeah ofcourse. I'm always one hundred with you."

"Why did Jc keep saying you always take away what's his?"

Kalin let's go of me and walks over to my balcony rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Come over here. I want you to listen carefully to what I tell you. I don't want to hide anything from you. I think it's time you know."

I walk out to the balcony and stand beside Kalin.  He has his arms rested on the rail staring into the bay.

"So me and Jc were friends. Really good friends. He was like a brother to me. Before he started to hate me."

"What happened?" I asked curious.

" I fucked everything up. We were always the popular kids you know. Me, him and Ronnie were the three amigos. Everyone knew no one could come between us but then sophomore year came and thats when it all changed. Jc started dating Melissa. She'd hangout all the time with us. The more I spent time with her the more I wanted her. It was just something about her. Yeah she was hot but there was more to her. She was funny, sweet, and just such a bubbly cute girl. Then one night she come over to study and I took the opportunity to make a move on her. I know what I did was fucked up. I was just too caught up in the moment. We hooked up that night. And continued to be fuck buddies for a couple months. I was really into her. She pleased me. So without thinking of Jc i convinced her to break up with him for me. Till this day i feel like shit about doing that. Cause I ruined something special. Jc was head over heels for Melissa.  She ended things then Jc found out and he didn't want anything to do with me or Ronnie. Jc said he could never forgive me. He couldn't believe I betrayed him like that and went behind his back and messed around with his girlfriend.  I can't believe I was just thinking about my satisfaction.  I wish I could take everytime back. Because Melissa wasn't worth destroying our friendship. And i don't think I'll ever get my bestfriend back. Melissa changed when we started dating. She wasn't the sweet bubbly girl that made me want her . Instead she became this rude bitchy girl i couldn't even stand being around. I regret all of it.  I still haven't been able to forgive myself for what I did. I hurt my bestfriend. And once again I did the same."  Kalin said with tears built up in his eyes ready to release any second.

The look on Kalins face expresses everything.  I see the hurt, the guilt, and the regret. It all makes sense now. Why Ronnie said it was like old times when we went on that double date to Chilis. Why Jc kept shouting out Kalin always takes what's his. Why Melissa said Jc deserves to be happy because she betrayed him just like I did. I'm just as bad as her. I never looked at it that way. I'm no better than she is. Why Jc asked me "What's so great about him". Because everyone Jc has opened up to and loved left him for Kalin.  I could only imagine how Jc feels.

" It all makes sense now. Why he's so hurt by everything.  Because once again you stole the heart of the girl he loves."

"I know Vivi.  I've done some fucked up shit. Before you moved here I was different.  You changed me for the better and I thank you so much for that. I've never felt complete till you walked into my life."

Kalin without a doubt is the love of my life. I couldn't see myself with anyone but him. He's my soulmate. But right now "Us" has had more downs then ups. I've never smiled or cried so much at the same time. It's all too much for me right now. It's one thing after another and it's sucking the life out of me. Something seems to always happen for us not to be.

"Kalin. I love you."

"I love you too." Kalin said kissing me softly on the lips

"I think it's best if we stay away from each other for awhile.."

"What do you mean stay away from each other?" Kalin asked confused.

" I need time to think and take in everything.  I can't be in a relationship right now." A tear trails down my cheek.

"Vivi I don't understand what are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm saying we can't be. Im sorry"

"Are fucking kidding me. Just like that. After everything we've been through for us to be together.  You're going to end it like this...." Kalin said backing away from me.

"Kalin I'm sorry."

"Bullshit Vivi.  I love you and I'm tired of chasing and fighting for your love. I've done nothing but been there for you through everything. You really are just going to call us quits after everything? How are you not going to fight for us? Why do you keep pushing me away?" Kalin said with tears streaming down.

"I love you too.  I just can't right now okay? If you truly love me. You'll understand I need time right now. I am fighting for us that's why I want time to think about everything.  I can't be in a relationship right now. I couldn't give you what you want. I wouldn't be hundred percent in the relationship.  Please Kalin I just need my space. I'm not trying to push you away. I just can't do this."

"Alright whatever.  I'll give you what you want once again. I love you more than my own life. But i can't wait for you forever." Kalin said kissing me softly on my forehead and walked out of my room.

What am I doing? Why do I have to ruin everything in my life. I don't even know what's the right thing to do anymore.

Please vote & comment!!(: So I'm writing a Myles fanfic it's called Second Chance. so if you like this story add my other one. I just started it. Its only two chapters. But still you should add it. lol Sorry I haven't been updating alot. I've just been soooo busy with getting ready for school. From now on I probably won't be able to update more than twice a week. But i promiseeee I'll update whenever I get a chance.(: thank you for reading hope you liked this chapter.  ♡