The soccer star is now the football star to.

Why me

Emily's pov.

Everything she said about my family is true except me banging my brothers. that's just sick, I mean seriously who would want to do that. When she said that I threw up in mouth literary.

What hit home was the fact that my mom did commit suicide and that my dad did leave us. What hurt the most was the fact that they were saying stuff about my brothers. I will admit some of my brothers are man whores but they do know what it means to be family.

There supportive and loving. I had heard everything she was saying but was hiding/blending in with the crowd. I knew my brothers were coming after me but I didn't care. I lost them about a mile back. I was sprinting and crying but i knew where I was going. I knew my brothers would try all the regular places first and then go around town.

I knew the one place where they would never look. the cemetery. after our mothers funeral my brothers and I promised that we won't come here unless absolutely necessary. I also promised that I would never return here. I couldn't even stay for the service I ran out the doors crying my eyes out in the middle of my speech. but I stayed the whole time for the lowering of the casket. I stayed at her grave for twenty minute in the rain.

The worst part about the cemetery was that it was on the other side of town and I was running and crying with a concussion. not my smartest move but I needed to go there. just like the day of the funeral it was raining but not hard yet.

I got there eventually. once at the entrance I just stood there looking at all the graves. I slowly started to walk towards my moms grave. once there I just collapsed onto the ground and cried more if possible. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rocked back and forth. I kept scratching at my heart as it would somehow stop the pain.

I sat there for a while just looking at the tombstone.

In memory of

Miranda Emily Write

Loving wife, mother, friend

I just read it over and over again until I started crying all over. by now the rain has turned into a complete down poor and there's lightning and thunder. I'm terrified of thunderstorms. I think there pretty but I'm terrified of them.

When I was little we took a family vacation before Kyle, Tate, Jake, and Carter were born. we went to the Bahamas and was on a cruise we had to dock early because of a huge storm coming. well there was it was a hurricane. we were stuck in a safe shelter for about a day and without light.

There were huge thunder claps and lightning flashes. once the storm was over everything was destroyed. our cruise was cancelled and so was our flight we were stranded here. for the extra two weeks we stayed here there was a total count of seven thunderstorms. Since then I've been terrified of storms.

So me staying outside in a thunderstorm next to my moms grave is something that I would never dream of.

Me- hey mom if you can hear me please help me on what to do. I'm scared and I miss you so much. dad left us for good. I'm afraid I'm going to loose everything. I can't loose anyone else. I'm sorry I haven't visited for five years but I couldn't please forgive me. I could really use some motherly advice right now. I'm sorry for being the worst daughter ever but you didn't have to leave me. how could you do that to me? I had already lost dad I couldn't loose you to.

Mommy I wish you were here with me again.

After that I just cried harder but still sat staring at her grave unmoving even though there's a huge thunderstorm going on. I'm surprised I haven't had a panic attack and started puking. I guess sitting in front of my moms grave let me forget.

I don't remember when but I soon fell asleep in front of her grave. I was awoken by a loud clap of thunder. I didn't move I couldn't I was just to weak to.

At this point I was praying that my mom could be here with me to give me courage but I knew it was impossible. I was also praying that the storm would stop soon. But I was replied with both no's I got weaker and colder and heavier rain shower.

Why did it have to be me hear? Why did I run away in the first place? why was I such a cowered? jut why in general. why me...??