Mixed Personalities

7.5

Nassiah

             I mean I wasn't no pussy, I wasn't scared of Alonso. His bitch ass. What could he do? Reject me trying to help him? I didn't think Tas'hania would actually call him with me sitting in the room but she did- I had to pay her 15$ and my blunt to do it but it was worth it. Here I was making the first move to fix things and I never thought I would. I looked up from the files I was suppose to be sorting through waiting for the darkskin  to walk into the shop. I did this shit- I mean you know save people. I ruined lots of lives but obviously these people need me here I left and everything went to shit. The door opened and I felt all urge to help the boy leave when he walked in with his Asian boyfriend. Married my ass. I didn't want Alonso back- maybe just help him get through the shit he was going through you know, his mental issues. I'm respectful of relationships so I just watched from a far until I got bored. Old me would've threw something because I was bored. But I already put enough fear in this boys heart as it was. The Asian boy left not without forgetting to stare me down. My uncle kept putting me.higgins ugly ass in charge- I don't know why but he did and I was getting tired of seeing this old man. I was still suppose to be doing them bills- still didn't do them. I had better things on my mind- what the hell happened to ole boy when I was gone?

"You still ain't do them shits?" Alonso asked when he walked over to the desk seeing them sitting on top. He was looking through the appointments he had- I guess he only worked weekends now because people made appointments to get their shit cut by him now.

"Damn no good morning -how'd you sleep?" I asked and his tired eyes looked up from the paper.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep" he responded uninterested didn't bother me much I continued to talk.

"Ehh decent, I would ask you but clearly you didn't- at all" I pointed out and he just glanced at me for a bit.

"I did" he argued back but his bags were noticeable as fuck.

"Lie to someone who believes it, why you wasn't sleeping?" I asked and he furrowed his eyebrows going to speak before a yawn came out proving my point.

"Damn Nassiah why you questioning me like the police" he said getting aggravated

"Why was ya ass down in Atlanta Alonso?" He slammed the papers down on the desk

"Mind ya damn business" he was about to walk away but I grabbed his hand I bit my lip looking down before remembering what we were actually talking about.

"I'll cause a damn scene boy" I whispered and he went back to giving me his full attention. "Answer it then I'll leave you be"

"Spoke to my pops- we done now?" He said ripping his hand out of mine- missing the small touch already I felt myself cop an attitude.

"No we ain't ya big bitch, something's wrong with you and I ain't finna turn a blind eye"

"Well do it- you to much in my business"

"So who you talking to about it? Ya made in China looking ass boyfriend? Alright then- so what y'all talk about?" I asked he just mugged me for a long time.

"Not shit- I'm fine, don't feel like you gotta glue pieces back together you ain't break them" he was trying to walk away again but I wasn't happy how the conversation ended so I pulled him back. He was getting aggravated I could tell-

"Let all the anger out, for four minutes imma let you say whatever to me, about me, whatever because obviously you holding grudges" I said he let out a fake laugh but I was being serious. He was becoming more angry and closed off- and I was the reasonable one? Yeah shit needed to change. This Alonso is hurting I know because anger hid my pain for years.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm not doing this" he responded "I'm in a relationship- and you're self centered if you think I'm still stuck on that" he said his voice getting quieter I blinked before looking at the time.

"And go" we stood in silence for a bit looking into each other's eyes he didn't say anything but I could tell he wanted too.

"You left me" He finally started. "I mean technically I broke up with you- but you got up and left for three years and ain't look back" he added I should've never did this- I felt myself already trying to defend myself. "I knew you couldn't help me, I did it myself I pulled the trigger- you even told me not to do it. But I felt like it was my job"

"I ain't know who I was anymore- I spent my whole life not wanting to be like someone and I jeopardized it all for you and you left- and I broke up with you so I didn't hate you but I ended up resenting you anyway" he said he spoke slow and steady as if he wanted to say these things for years. As if this was already waiting to come out sense he saw me. "I fell for you to fast and I hurt myself in the end.I tried to hate you but I couldn't- I knew what I was doing, what you were caught up in I wasn't blind to it- I knew I didn't like it but I didn't care. So I went to my father for answers- I mean he's the only other person I could talk to about what happened- but he made it worse so yeah. I'm fine Nassiah don't worry bout me" he responded I looked down at the time- he had a minute left but I could tell he was done talking. I opened my mouth to speak but he looked over at the clock.

"Ii we done for real now. Hope you heard whatever you wanted to hear" he said walking off to his station and a brownskin little boy sat in his chair excitedly.

I didn't know why I felt guilty he didn't really put blame on me, he took it all for himself. He didn't even say he was mad- sure he resented me at first but I resent half the world so that didn't hurt my feelings- I should've stayed for him, I should've listened more maybe. I felt guilty as hell- he killed someone for me and I left him here to deal with the consequences knowing it was tearing him up.

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- I had to make my baby broken because yk that typa shit kills you- and yk my baby Zo heart to big for this kind of world.

   — I know y'all got some shit y'all wanna see so lmk. I'm always into hearing what y'all thinking I'm

  - you think Nassiah finna fix Alonso?