Mixed Personalities

31.0

Nassiah
September 7th. (A week before my birthday)

You know when you messed up? Like really bad? I never had to deal with first hand consequences that I ever cared about in my life. Jail- everyone knew I was going.Jail the second time? Wasn't my fucking fault. Beating anyone up? Who was gonna check me? The only thing that could've been on the list was killing Vernon- Lock did jump me for that one.. but Alonso killed him so it didn't make the list. I never tried to get out the game for real because I never had to— yeah king SHOULD'VE got me out. But he's also the reason I was killing niggas in New York— they all was playing around with my fucking son. Tyrell still deserves my fucking wrath but then there was — Alonso. He was tired of my shit, fed the fuck up. I mean we had that conversation maybe two- three weeks ago and we still aren't the same. Also could be my fault.

I was terrified, it was like a second instinct to shoot off someone's head. Especially these motherfuckers out here. Not to mention— I killed Marcos girlfriend— if she had someone who cared about her that's another body. I've been on the block sense 15. Shit I've been selling with Donnie and Von sense me and Donnie were 12 so I didn't know another way to relieve stress- sounded stupid but the truth was the truth. It was either punching a wall, someone or letting a fucking clip on someone's head. But for Alonso I would have to give it up. I mean I was doing good so what happened? Honesty I don't know, it's like when Tash went behind bars my anger reset. Sure I got shot but killing them fuckers and going on that lick made me feel like I was in control of my life. Maurice told me to try therapy but I'm not telling his ass my business. And I'm sure not telling no white Man in a fucking room- scratch that i don't care who it is! I'm not telling nobody the illegal shit I do.

My phone went off making me jump up, it was only 9 am-mostly everyone was sleeping but I couldn't. I didn't sleep for much anyway- between them bad ass nightmares and my own stress sleep wasn't the highest. I answer the phone and pushed myself off the bed away from Alonso who was fast asleep. "Yoo?" I answered rubbing my stomach as I went towards the bathroom.

"Lemme talk to my baby! It's his birthday tomorrow!" Lacey said excitedly in the phone.

"So why you ain't call him tomorrow?" I asked looking at the New York metropolitan jail number then holding it back to my ear.

"Tomorrow I'm going back to court,against Ty. I'm sending his ass for jail and if I do they're gonna give me only 25- and that's good considering I did sneak out of jail three times"

"Three times ho! You only seen your son once!"

"Nigga I had to steal Ty's money so I could get down there the fuck!" She yelled making me contemplate hanging up on her annoying ass. "Lemme talk to my baby— he wanna hang up on me for your little boyfriend last week"

"Don't start yo shit"

"That's it? No smart remark? I mean I am an addict- a crackhead.. Nassiah what's wrong I practically gave you ideas to cut my ass"

"I don't got time for yo stupid ass bullshit! You wanna talk to king or not?" I snapped and the phone went quiet.

"Y-Yeah" she said softly into the phone. I walked into kings room and he was still sleeping decently. But not as hard as I thought because when I sat on his bed and gave him a small shake his eyes opened and a wide grin fell across his face.

"PA! Pa! It's my bifay?" He asked his thumb in his mouth I handed him the phone and he started talking into it loudly and excitedly as if the boy didn't just wake up. I rubbed my eyes walking back down the hallway and into the kitchen to start on making king something for breakfast. Then I paused- "NAYSON" I yelled nothing. "NAYSON" I yelled again and I heard a few shuffled and a muffled what."NAYSON" I yelled again and a door swung open and close.